IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Online shopping is increasing dramatically. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of jobs required? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience?

There is debate over whether people should make an effort to overcome
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 all over the world or just learn the ways how to adapt to its consequences and live with
this
Linking Words
 problem without trying to tackle it.
While
Linking Words
 some say that more efforts should be made to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue, others argue that
this
Linking Words
 is unnecessary
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is better to cooperate with these changes in the
climate
Use synonyms
. Personally, I think that it is more advantageous to try to learn the ways of resolving these issues. On the one hand, as some of the individuals believe that overcoming problems connected to
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 is the best option,
this
Linking Words
 could result in serious consequences ,
such
Linking Words
 as natural disasters that can negatively impact the environment ,
together with
Linking Words
 our lives.
This
Linking Words
 includes reducing the emissions that are produced from greenhouse gases,
such
Linking Words
 as carbon dioxide and smoke,
together with
Linking Words
 transitioning to renewable energy resources and stricter environmental regulations to improve the
overall
Linking Words
 well-being of the planet.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some individuals argue that these efforts can not help to overcome apparent issues related to
climate
Use synonyms
 , and it is better to conduct research on how to live with
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
. From
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint, it can be considered that investing all efforts to improve the infrastructure to withstand extreme weather conditions, developing drought-resistant crops that are resistant in all areas of the planet and weather conditions. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some believe
actively
Change preposition
in actively
show examples
 combating to overcome
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
, I think that adapting to
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 is more important as it provides more opportunities for the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly states and supports your main points. Each idea should follow logically from the one before.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help to strengthen your points and make them more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on a clearer introduction and conclusion. A strong introduction should outline your main arguments, and a strong conclusion should summarize them clearly.
Task Achievement
You have presented a fair discussion of both sides of the argument, which is good for task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: