Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today's globalised world, there are conventional arguments about advancing public
health
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.
While
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some argue that enhancing the number of athletic facilities is the most appropriate way, some believe that providing alternative preparations is an effective action. I firmly support both views as increasing public
health
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is a multifold approach. The supporters of promoting public
health
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cite that establishing more sports
centres
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would encourage people to engage in regular physical activities and exercises
regularly
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apply
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. Sports can prevent everybody from a wide range of chronic diseases
such
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as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. As an example,
according to
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the World
Health
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Organisation (WHO) research, when people start walking at least 30 minutes every day, it can significantly reduce the risk of heart disease.
Thus
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, increasing the number of opportunities to take part in sport can boost the public's well-being.
On the other hand
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, others believe that the sport
centres
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have a trivial effect on increasing the body's
health
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. Having a strong healthcare system is the main factor,
such
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as constructing specialist hospitals and accessible pharmacies throughout a city. To be more precise, when the bodies suffer from acute diseases like Myocardial infarction (MI), quick performance plays a crucial role in their survival.
For instance
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, the University of Cambridge found that after increasing the number of
health
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centres
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, the rate of mortality from serious illnesses diminished in 2000 in comparison with the before years.
As a result
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, treating the qualified staff of professional healthcare and well-equipped medical
centres
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can improve the general healthcare.
To sum up
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, I believe both views complement each other. In order to have a healthy society, people should pay attention to their own lifestyle by starting exercise and require local organisations to build available home care for emergency circumstances

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each idea is clearly linked to the next one. Use more linking words to connect your thoughts more smoothly.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your arguments, showing how they actually relate to the points you make.
task achievement
You clearly present both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your opinion is clearly stated at the end, which is a strong way to conclude your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • chronic diseases
  • preventative care
  • obesity
  • physical activity
  • health initiatives
  • health education campaigns
  • social interaction
  • mental wellbeing
  • motivation
  • accessible venues
  • active lifestyle
  • quality healthcare
  • community hubs
  • multipronged approach
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