Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today's globalised world, there are conventional arguments about advancing public

health

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

some argue that enhancing the number of athletic facilities is the most appropriate way, some believe that providing alternative preparations is an effective action. I firmly support both views as increasing public

health

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is a multifold approach. The supporters of promoting public

health

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cite that establishing more sports

centres

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would encourage people to engage in regular physical activities and exercises

regularly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. Sports can prevent everybody from a wide range of chronic diseases

such

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as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. As an example,

according to

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the World

Health

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Organisation (WHO) research, when people start walking at least 30 minutes every day, it can significantly reduce the risk of heart disease.

Thus

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, increasing the number of opportunities to take part in sport can boost the public's well-being.

On the other hand

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, others believe that the sport

centres

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have a trivial effect on increasing the body's

health

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. Having a strong healthcare system is the main factor,

such

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as constructing specialist hospitals and accessible pharmacies throughout a city. To be more precise, when the bodies suffer from acute diseases like Myocardial infarction (MI), quick performance plays a crucial role in their survival.

For instance

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, the University of Cambridge found that after increasing the number of

health

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centres

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, the rate of mortality from serious illnesses diminished in 2000 in comparison with the before years.

As a result

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, treating the qualified staff of professional healthcare and well-equipped medical

centres

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can improve the general healthcare.

To sum up

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, I believe both views complement each other. In order to have a healthy society, people should pay attention to their own lifestyle by starting exercise and require local organisations to build available home care for emergency circumstances

m.hadavi20

Aug 1, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each idea is clearly linked to the next one. Use more linking words to connect your thoughts more smoothly.

task achievement

Add more specific examples to support your arguments, showing how they actually relate to the points you make.

task achievement

You clearly present both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your opinion is clearly stated at the end, which is a strong way to conclude your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
chronic diseases
preventative care
obesity
physical activity
health initiatives
health education campaigns
social interaction
mental wellbeing
motivation
accessible venues
active lifestyle
quality healthcare
community hubs
multipronged approach

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as 'role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Student should pay the full cost for their study because university education benefit individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Write a letter to your friend who lives in a different country about your plan to work overseas. In your letter explain: What jobs do you plan to do? Why do you want to work overseas? Ask for some information related to jobs, such as salary, working hours and so on