IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below gives information on consumer spending

The table below gives information on consumer spending
The table illustrates the proportion of money spent on goods
such
Linking Words
 as
(
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
food/drinks/tobacco, clothes or shoes and time off and studying
)
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in
Ireland
Use synonyms
, Italy,
Spain
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and Turkey in the year 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, the five
natinonals
Correct your spelling
nations
 spend
majorly
Rephrase
mainly
show examples
 on meals, soft drinks and cigarettes
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 the next spending was on attire and
footwears
Fix the agreement mistake
footwear
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
relaxation
Correct article usage
the relaxation
show examples
 and educational system received the lowest percentage of the budget. Turkey was the number one country that spent most of
her
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 money (nearly a third of the budget) on consumable items (food, beverages and tobacco), next to follow was
Ireland
Use synonyms
 with roughly one quarter of the expenditure.
In addition
Linking Words
, the three other countries
also
Linking Words
 had higher spending (
Spain
Use synonyms
 18.80%, Italy 16.36% and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 15.77%) in comparison to other items.
However
Linking Words
, the amount of money used to
purchased
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
 clothing and shoes was
also
Linking Words
 significant among the five
nationals
Replace the word
nations
show examples
 in
exception
Replace the word
except
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Italy
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was the highest among them with 9.00%, (
Ireland
Use synonyms
 6.43%,
Spain
Use synonyms
 6.51%,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 5.40%
andTurkey
Correct word choice
and andTurkey
show examples
 6.63%) over the period given.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the financial allocation for relaxation and studying was the least. The people of
Ireland
Use synonyms
 spend 2.21%, Italian's used 3.20%,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 has
relatively
Correct article usage
a relatively
show examples
 the same proportion
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Italy, Turkish people used 4.35%,
whereas
Linking Words
Spain
Use synonyms
 has an insignificant percentage .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ireland, spain, sweden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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