IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The world is heavily dependent on oil for energy, which is unsustainable due to global warming. What future resource do you think will take oil’s place? Why do you think this?

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The world population has become highly dependent on fossil
energy
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 sources over the
last
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 fifty
years
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. It is agreed that the current approach exerts severe pressure on fragile ecological balance, and new
power
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 streams must be implemented.
This
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 essay will shed some light on the issue and provide both plausible alternatives and arguments to support the point.
Firstly
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,
according to
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 modern scientific papers, nuclear
energy
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 could be a suitable alternative to the classic
power
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 plants working on oil or even coal fuel.
For instance
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, France has developed several new atomic
power
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 plants for the
last
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 ten
years
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 and has taken all laurels at a dozen climate change conferences for implementing sustainable development practices.
Moreover
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, modern statistical data shows us that owing to the new powerhouses, France has not only pulled off several coal mines but has reduced the country's carbon emission level by seven per cent over the
last
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 three
years
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. To support the point, rare radioactive elements, suitable for new types of
power
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 plants, may be extracted on the Moon surfaces and even created in labs.
For example
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, the
last
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 Chinese moon expedition confirmed an enormous amount of Helium-3 on the Moon's poles.
Furthermore
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,
according to
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 the obtained data, five per cent of the available supply can provide one trillion gigawatts of
energy
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, which is equivalent to one thousand
years
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 of Earth's actual
power
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 production.
To sum up
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, there are alternatives for the current ineffective and antiquated
power
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 sources. The new technologies provide us with new opportunities in nuclear
energy
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. Humanity must harness
this
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 chance as fully as possible if it wants to save the planet for the forthcoming generations.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, aim for more explicit linkage between main points and the central thesis through the use of cohesive devices. Transition words and phrases can guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Expand and elaborate on your examples to clarify how they directly relate to the question. Including more specific details will strengthen the argument and show a higher level of critical thinking.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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