IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is claimed that physical prowess can lead to victory against other athletes;
conversely
Linking Words
, other viewpoints argue that mental toughness is more crucial.
Although
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 mental firmness provides people with motivation and focus during competitions, I believe that most sports require them to possess great athletic ability. On the one hand, the strong determination of competitive athletes creates significant incentives and enhances their concentration. That they will not be easy to give up helps them overcome their physical limitations, obstacles, and strategically manage to focus entirely on the championship. When they realise they do not possess superior physical qualities compared to their rivals, they may devise tactics to shorten the path to victory.
For example
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, many Japanese volleyball matches have demonstrated
this
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 viewpoint.
Although
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 the competitor had certain disadvantages regarding their physical conditions, the combination of mental toughness and a touch of luck brought them victory in those matches.
However
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, I contend that mental fortitude is not a critical factor contributing to success, but physical strength is. Most sports nowadays require contestants not only to have outstanding physical power but
also
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 muscle endurance to meet the rigorous conditions of the
sporty
Correct word choice
sporting
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 event. Many matches,
such
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 as football, can
last
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 for more than two hours, which challenges the player relentlessly to expend their energy. In
such
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 cases, the resilience in physical strength will be a determining
key
Check wording
factor
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 over mental courage. The football match between Vietnam and Uzbekistan in 2019 serves as a typical example. Despite Vietnam’s unprecedented national pride in reaching the final of a prestigious Asian competition, physical condition remained the greatest challenge for Vietnamese players when compared to their opponents. In conclusion,
despite
Change preposition
although
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that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
mental health may create some miracle moments in sport, physical prowess equips athletes with the necessary preparation from the outset of the match. That’s why it should play a more vital role in sports competition.

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task
Make the main view clear in the opening. Say which side you take and how you will argue it.
structure
Each paragraph should have one main idea linked to your view. Start with a small sentence that is easy to find.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, but, however, and use a good flow.
evidence
Give one strong and clear example for each point. Check that the facts are right.
language
Keep work rules in small phrases. Check grammar to fix big errors.
conclusion
Finish with a short conclusion that restates your view.
strength
The writer states a clear view and tries to discuss both sides.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion, giving good form.
cohesion
Some linking words help to tie ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
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