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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Table shows the number of people from five different nationalities living in each other’s countries.

Table shows the number of people from five different nationalities living in each other’s countries.
The table represents the data about how many individuals from 5 different nations live in each other's
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 the biggest total value of non-native residents in
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 was in Britain and Germany, meanwhile Italy and Spain gained
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significantly fewer figures.
However
Linking Words
, the fewest results were in Poland
tremendously
Punctuation problem
, tremendously
show examples
 differing from others.At the same time,
Polishs
Correct your spelling
Poles
 and
Italins
Correct your spelling
Italians
 led in a
number
Use synonyms
 of
emmigrants
Correct your spelling
emigrants
,surpassing British and German ones , and
also
Linking Words
 Spanish
imigrants
Correct your spelling
immigrants
 were least
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
 across other states Germany and Britain had the most non-native citizens
among
Change preposition
apply
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all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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, both reaching over a million
people
Use synonyms
 in total. Spain and Italy were the third-tier and
fouth-tier
Use the right word
fourth-tier
show examples
 regions with the value of 861,000 and 196,000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Poland became the country
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
where the
number
Use synonyms
 of
immigrant
Fix the agreement mistake
immigrants
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
was the least ,
reacing
Correct your spelling
reaching
 just 6,000
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of Polish
people
Use synonyms
 who live abroad was significantly outpacing others with 1,168,000 individuals,
whereas
Linking Words
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
Britishs
Correct your spelling
Britons
 and Germans
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 524,760 and 539,000, respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, the Spanish ones
demostrated
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 relatively low rates ,with 202.170
people
Use synonyms
 ,in total, in other countries.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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