IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some sountries owing a home rather then renting one is very important for people. Why might be this case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Having your own home in some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 is extremely crucial in some countries rather than having one on rent. I think there are more positive aspects to
this
Linking Words
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than negative
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 I will explicate in the following paragraphs. First and foremost
having
Punctuation problem
, having
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 a roof
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 one's head is
primary
Correct article usage
a primary
show examples
 need of a person. If one has their own home, they can save a lot of expenses from paying rent every month and save that money for some other important business. If they have their own
house
Use synonyms
, they can live
according to
Linking Words
 their own will, use the space
howsoever
Use the right word
however
show examples
 they want
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 at the same time
also
Linking Words
 design it as they wish.
For example
Linking Words
, some people are
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
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 and do not like animal
stuff
Check wording
products
show examples
 in their
house
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 their
relegious
Correct your spelling
religious
 and cultural beliefs.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if they have their own
house
Use synonyms
, they can avoid
trouble
Correct article usage
the trouble
show examples
 of hurting their
relegious
Correct your spelling
religious
 sentiments.
Secondly
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, owning a
house
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 a kind of future investment. In times of
hardships
Fix the agreement mistake
hardship
show examples
, a person can use
Use synonyms
house
Correct pronoun usage
their house
show examples
 as a source of income as well. For illustration, rent out that
house
Use synonyms
 to get an extra source of income or open some kind of business using the space available.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in extreme situations, they can
also
Linking Words
 try to sell the
house
Use synonyms
 and get some financial aid because the
house
Use synonyms
 acts as an asset and
overtime
Use the right word
over time
show examples
, its value increases.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that investing in property and having your own
house
Use synonyms
 has great positive
affects
Use the right word
effects
show examples
 on people's life, enhancing their confidence
of
Change preposition
in
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 building an asset for themself
as well as
Linking Words
 property for their future generation.

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task
Talk more about both sides. The prompt asks if it is positive or negative, so mention any downside too.
task
Give more proof or clear examples for each idea, not only general talk.
coherence
Use a clear plan in each paragraph with a topic sentence.
coherence
Use linking words and repeat key ideas to flow from one idea to the next.
grammar
Check spell and grammar to fix errors like religious, relegious, and 'their' vs 'there' issues.
strength
The writer gives a clear view and stays on it.
structure
There is a simple tree of ideas: start with why a home is good, then show it as an asset, then end with a conclusion.
content
The ideas match the topic well: cost save, space, and future money.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • own
  • rent
  • home
  • house
  • buy
  • save
  • saving
  • future
  • family
  • kids
  • school
  • security
  • stability
  • debt
  • loan
  • cost
  • price
  • rise
  • mobility
  • move
  • benefit
  • risk
  • positive
  • negative
  • policy
  • government
  • tax
  • income
  • job
  • culture
  • status
  • wealth
  • home ownership
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