IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Happiness is considered very important in life. 1.Why is it difficult to define? 2.What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Happiness is believed to be a key element in our lives.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss how happiness is so complex to define
due to
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 its strong relation with personality and taste
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 will talk about how different factors like passion make us happy. The term “happiness” is difficult to describe since it varies from one another,
according to
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 multiple factors of different nature. First of all, everyone has a different perspective
of
Change preposition
on
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 life, deeply affecting their feelings when they do something.
This
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 means that when doing something, some
people
Use synonyms
 will feel happy and others bored or sad,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 revolves around the different
centers
Use the right word
centres
show examples
 of interest that
people
Use synonyms
 have.
For example
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, a Japanese artist in 2008
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 interviewed
people
Use synonyms
 all around Tokyo on what would make them content, and
then
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write
Wrong verb form
wrote
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key words
Use the right word
keywords
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 for each interviewed person. After interviewing 50
persons
Check wording
people
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, he found himself with a list of thousands of words, showing how different
people
Use synonyms
 think of what makes them content. To achieve
this
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 kind of satisfaction, it is important to have a passion, something that makes us feel fulfilled, something that lasts with us, not just a small moment that makes us feel good.
People
Use synonyms
 have different
centers
Use the right word
centres
show examples
 of interest, so art and sports are the
main
Correct word choice
apply
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best options. Those are activities that allow us to evolve and see ourselves experience becoming through a learning process,
guarantying
Replace the word
guaranteeing
show examples
long lasting
Use the right word
long-lasting
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 fulfilment.
For instance
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, The famous painter Dali, before becoming
world known
Replace the word
a world-renowned
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 artist or even making his first step in art, was depressed,
due to
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 a lack of motivation and goals. It was Art that made him
realize
Use the right word
realise
show examples
 what he really felt and wanted all along. In conclusion, contentment is an important yet complex term that varies
due to
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 personality traits and perspectives.
This
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 contentment needs
condition
Correct article usage
a condition
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 to be experienced, and
this
Linking Words
 is by having a passion.

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tip
Plan your essay. Say what you will talk about in your start, then keep to this plan. Each paragraph should have one main idea and a clear end.
tip
Use clear link words to connect ideas. Use easy words like and, but, also, so, then. This helps the reader follow.
tip
Give one good example for each main idea and explain how it shows the idea. The examples should be easy to see and relate to.
strength
The idea that happiness can be felt in many ways and can mix with a person’s own view.
strength
Some good use of real life ideas like art and people to show what makes us feel well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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