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Writing Samples
Band 8

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Enhance future life style Is this a negative or positive development?

In recent years, many parents have placed intense expectations on their children to excel academically and professionally.
While
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this
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 tendency is often rooted in understandable motives, I believe it is largely detrimental, and
this
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 essay will explain why. One primary reason parents exert
such
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 pressure is the desire to secure their children’s future. In an increasingly competitive job market, strong academic performance and prestigious qualifications are often viewed as essential for career stability. Parents may
therefore
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 believe that early discipline and relentless study habits will maximise their child’s opportunities.
In addition
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, some caregivers project their unfulfilled ambitions onto the next generation, hoping their sons and daughters will accomplish what they themselves could not.
This
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 is especially common among those who experienced hardship in youth and now see their children as a chance to achieve those long-held aspirations.
Nevertheless
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, constant pressure can produce more harm than good. Excessive demands can strain family relationships, erode trust, and stifle a young person’s independence. Psychologically, it often leads to chronic stress, burnout, or even long-term mental health disorders
such
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 as anxiety and depression.
For example
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, a study by the Mental Health Institution found that over 70% of high-achieving university students reported persistent anxiety linked to parental expectations.
Moreover
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, when success is narrowly defined by grades or career prestige, creativity, social skills, and personal happiness may be neglected—qualities equally important for a fulfilling life. In conclusion,
although
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 parental ambition is frequently driven by love and a wish for security, imposing relentless pressure is counterproductive. A healthier approach is to provide guidance, encouragement, and the freedom for children to explore their own interests, enabling them to build balanced, self-directed, and ultimately more satisfying lives.

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improvement
Start with a clear answer in one line. Then add why and how. This helps task response.
improvement
Use more real life or real facts, not fake names. This makes your point stronger.
improvement
Keep ideas simple. Some long words can be replaced with easy words.
improvement
Each paragraph should have one main idea with a simple link to the next idea.
strength
The view that too much push is not good is clear.
strength
Good use of linking words to move from one idea to another.
strength
Closing line repeats the main point well.
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