IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for thesechildren when they grow up

nowdays
Use the right word
Nowadays
show examples
, there can be witnessed a
phenomenno
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 some parents
allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
did any things
Use the right word
to do anything
show examples
 they want. I
belived
Correct your spelling
believe
this
Linking Words
 both brings some advantages and drawbacks.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
this
Linking Words
phenomenno
Correct your spelling
phenomenon's
 effects and its consequences.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
advantageb
Correct your spelling
advantage
 of
this
Linking Words
phomeno
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 is that parents give
children
Use synonyms
 more
freddom
Correct your spelling
freedom
, which
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to explore their
interesting
Replace the word
interests
show examples
flexiably+
Correct your spelling
flexibly
,
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
follwing
Correct your spelling
following
 the rules. so that will
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
to the
Correct word order
the children to
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 find
somethings
Fix the agreement mistake
something
show examples
really
Correct pronoun usage
they really
show examples
loved
Wrong verb form
love
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 some significant drawbacks and negative effects.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one major drawback is
Use synonyms
children
Correct word choice
that children
show examples
 may become too self-centred. As
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in family, they can do everything they want to do, and
thoes
Correct your spelling
those
children
Use synonyms
 may
ingnore
Correct your spelling
ignore
 their behaviour will
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
onthers
Correct your spelling
others
. In the long run, those
children
Use synonyms
maybe
Use the right word
may
show examples
develpe
Correct your spelling
develop
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 selfish personality, as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, they may
mitfit
Verb problem
not fit
show examples
the social life which
need
Verb problem
requires
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lot of
corporations
Use the right word
cooperation
show examples
.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 second drawback is
Use synonyms
children
Correct word choice
that children
show examples
 may lack the
sprit
Use the right word
spirit
show examples
 of
presistence
Correct your spelling
persistence
.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 example,
children
Use synonyms
 may only pick some
easliy
Correct your spelling
easy
 or interesting task, and when they meet
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 difficult task, they may choose to give up
instead
Linking Words
 of trying.
as
Fix capitalization
As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
consequnce
Correct your spelling
consequence
,
children
Use synonyms
 may lack the
abilityes
Correct your spelling
ability
of
Verb problem
to solve
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
- solving and
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in adversity.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 third
drawbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
drawback
show examples
 is that
children
Use synonyms
 who
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 provided more freedom
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 may
less
Verb problem
have less
show examples
Change preposition
of the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rule
consciouness
Correct your spelling
consciousness
.
so
Fix capitalization
So
show examples
,when they
entre
Use the right word
enter
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
socilty
Correct your spelling
society
, they may
Verb problem
be unawre
show examples
unawre
Correct your spelling
unaware
 that they breach policies ,even legislation.
Linking Words
to
Fix capitalization
To
show examples
 sum up,
parenets
Correct your spelling
parents
 allow
children
Use synonyms
 to do anything they want may bring some
short
Correct word choice
short-term
show examples
 advantage,
its
Correct word choice
but its
show examples
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
it
Use the right word
in
show examples
 terms of personality and rule
consicioness
Correct your spelling
consistency
 are more serious.
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
shoule
Correct your spelling
should
 be
apprached
Correct your spelling
approached
 with caution.

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content
Add clear links to each idea and explain why it is pro or con. Give one or two easy, true examples.
language
Fix spelling, grammar, and sentence form. Use short, simple sentences.
structure
Have one idea per paragraph. Use a short intro and a short end that sum up.
lexical
Use simple words well. Check that the word fits the idea and not just the sound.
structure
The plan to cover both sides is clear.
content
Some ideas show a aim to show why rules may shape life later.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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