many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

There is an ongoing argument on how to maintain the great amount of
sugar
consumption. In
this
case, some individuals hold the belief that making these sugary products pricier, will cause society to have less
sugar
in the long run. I strongly disagree with
this
statement, as I do not find
this
solution the most effective way to reduce
sugar
consumption. Regarding the diet that most people have in the present time,
sugar
plays a crucial part in it and sugary foods and drinks have become an inseparable part of everyday meals which is concerning to society, as it is the reason for a variety of health issues.
Although
making these products more expensive, can have an impact on not purchasing them often, it is not the effective way for that, since a group of notions is able to afford them without considering the prices.
On the contrary
, I believe that warning people about the side effects of these products will be more beneficial. Fortunately, a great number of individuals are starting to pay more attention to their physical health and have a desire to be fit and in shape, so by producing advertisements or making short clips about the drawbacks of sugary foods, folks are going to realise that how these meals are going to effect on their both physical appearance and mood. The layout of shopping malls,
furthermore
, can have a huge impact on making the decision to buy these snacks.
For instance
, if the grocery shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
put snacks that are high in glucose, in the part away from the notions site, and reduce the number of shelves for them, folks will probably show less interest in buying them because they would not be eye-catching anymore.
To sum up
, from my perspective, increasing the price of meals and snacks that mostly consist of glucose, will not be beneficial since some people will still buy them,
however
, the layout of shelves in grocery shops and advertisements will have a greater impact on a long period of time.
Submitted by vaniaa.z.h2005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay does address the prompt, it's critical to explore both sides of the argument more thoroughly to fully meet the task requirements. Consider including more specific examples and data to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that your argument flows logically from one paragraph to the next. Use a range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate your language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: