IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries allow old people to work to any age that they want. Do the advantagrs of this outhweigh the disadvantages?

There is a view that in
severall
Correct your spelling
several
 countries
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 generation
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 allowed to
work
Use synonyms
 to any age they want.
While
Linking Words
 there are some advantages to
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 jobs for
olderly
Correct your spelling
older
 people, it provides significant problems for
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation. One of the benefits of working after retirement is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 build
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 financial position in their life.
While
Linking Words
seniours
Use the right word
seniors
show examples
 are working, they always will have
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
 salary to feed
family
Correct pronoun usage
their family
show examples
 and sometimes spend money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 themselves.
Linking Words
This kind
Fix the agreement mistake
These kinds
show examples
 of unique working laws are popular among Australian
residents
Use synonyms
, as there are no limits for them in terms of working in ordinary jobs
such
Linking Words
 as
taxi
Correct article usage
a taxi
show examples
 driver,
office
Correct article usage
an office
show examples
 worker or even
pilot
Correct article usage
a pilot
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, Australian
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 prohibit
residents
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
from working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 after 60 in several
works
Check wording
professions, such
show examples
 as
lawyer
Replace the word
law
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the millitary
show examples
millitary
Correct your spelling
military
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in some cases
working
Punctuation problem
, working
show examples
 after
late
Correct article usage
the late
show examples
50's
Check wording
50s
show examples
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
seniours
Use the right word
seniors
show examples
earn
Verb problem
to earn
show examples
 money and improve financial stability.
However
Linking Words
, if elderly
residents
Use synonyms
continiue
Correct your spelling
continue
 to
work
Use synonyms
 after superannuation, it will bring more
troubels
Correct your spelling
troubles
 in finding jobs for recently graduated students. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, heads of young families will be in demand for
work
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, by hiring elderly workers,
work
Use synonyms
 efficiency and productivity of companies will
gradully
Correct your spelling
gradually
 fall, because their health will not be able to adjust to a high speed in working
palce
Correct your spelling
workplace
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 incomes of
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 will fall,
unles
Correct your spelling
unless
 old people retire from
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, companies in
Andora
Use the right word
Andorra
show examples
 have the lowest incomes all over the world in
comparasion
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to well-developed countries like China or Japan. The
last
Linking Words
 but not least
downsides
Fix the agreement mistake
downside
show examples
 of allowing old
residents
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 is that
will
Correct pronoun usage
it will
show examples
 fully block opportunities to
identifty
Correct your spelling
identify
 young workers with
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
incredible talent and working skills.
Thus
Linking Words
,
restriction
Correct article usage
the restriction
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 after 60
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 has more beneficial sides
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than downsides. In conclusion, despite some financial benefits for
olderly
Correct your spelling
older
 people, it might bring more
troubels
Correct your spelling
troubles
 to
work
Use synonyms
 as it has negative effects on companies' income, young workers
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 it will reduce
work
Use synonyms
 efficiency and performance.

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task response
Clarify your view in the introduction and keep a clear position in all paragraphs.
task response
Give stronger reasons for each point and use clear, related examples.
coherence
Use simple links to show how ideas are connected and check that each paragraph only sticks to one main point.
language
Check spelling and grammar to make your meaning plain and easy to read.
task response
The writer shows a real topic and tries to discuss both sides.
coherence
There is a basic plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
content
Some examples are used to back up points.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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