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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average time spent by four car manufacturers to produce vehicles at their US factories. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average time spent by four car manufacturers to produce vehicles at their US factories. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart illustrates information concerning the process
time
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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used for
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 produced in 1998 to 2005. The data can be
categorized
Use the right word
categorised
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 into General
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Motor
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Motors
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, Ford, Toyota and Honda.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the average
time
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 from all the
manufactures
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manufacturers
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 decreased continuously
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 all the companies spent
time
Use synonyms
 for
car
Use synonyms
 almost the same in 2005.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, General
Use synonyms
Motor
Fix the agreement mistake
Motors
show examples
 was the
industries
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industry
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 that spent
time
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 per vehicle
most
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apply
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at the beginning.
However
Linking Words
, General
Use synonyms
Motor
Fix the agreement mistake
Motors
show examples
 declined
Correct article usage
the gradually
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gradually
Replace the word
gradual
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 process
time
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 to ending at 24
hours
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Ford used
time
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 for a
car
Use synonyms
 slightly lower than General
Use synonyms
Motor
Fix the agreement mistake
Motors
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 at 28
hours
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,
while
Linking Words
 in 2001
reached
Correct pronoun usage
it reached
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 the peak
to
Change preposition
of
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 more than 30
hours
Use synonyms
 and slumped to
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 values as General
Use synonyms
Motor
Fix the agreement mistake
Motors
show examples
 in 2005. Moving to the other, Japanese companies had the same values almost every year. Meanwhile, in 1999, Honda was the
manufactures
Fix the agreement mistake
manufacturer
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 that spent
time
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for
Change preposition
on
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 a
car
Use synonyms
 least in the
end
Punctuation problem
end,
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 they both spent
times
Check wording
20 hours
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
car
Use synonyms
 with 20
hours
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, car, motor, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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