In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household takes equally (eg. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
present
economy, a lot Add an article
the present
people
have agreed that the majority of Change preposition
of people
household
can not survive with only Fix the agreement mistake
households
single
income. Correct article usage
a single
Therefore
, people have been
discussed Unnecessary verb
apply
on
how to resolve Change preposition
apply
household
responsibilities, when both
genders need to work for the whole day. Some people think that it should be equally distributed, and in my perspective
that seems to be the best option.
Add a comma
perspective,
To begin
with, conservative mindset
have Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
been took
Wrong verb form
taken
a significant roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
a significant role
significant roles
on
Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
the decision
decision making
process of dividing Add a hyphen
decision-making
household
work such
as looking after children. In many cultures, it is Change noun form
women's
women
responsibility to Change noun form
women's
raised
Change the form of the verb
raise
Correct article usage
apply
the
children. As in the past, Correct article usage
apply
majority
of women Correct article usage
the majority
was
not working. But that concept is not significantly relevant anymore to Correct subject-verb agreement
were
nowdays
situation, where Correct your spelling
today's
both
gender
need to work full time to provide for their family.
Sharing Change to a plural noun
genders
household
tasks equally promotes a healthy relationship dynamic, fostering mutual respect and understanding. It helps in breaking down traditional gender
roles, encouraging a supportive environment where duties are not defined by gender
but by the
necessity and capability. Since Correct article usage
apply
both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
working
for the same amount of time, it is only logical that Wrong verb form
work
both
of them deserve the
equal length of rest time. Unfair distribution of Correct article usage
an
household
chores should not be prevalent anymore and it should be seen as disscrimination
towards Correct your spelling
discrimination
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
gender
.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that equally devided
Correct your spelling
divided
household
roles can lead to better
quality of Add an article
a better
family
Add an article
the family
a family
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
,
since no one Remove the comma
apply
get
Change the verb form
gets
dicriminated
Correct your spelling
discriminated
.
Change preposition
against.
Finally
, i
believe Change the capitalization
I
this
can result
improvement of Add the preposition
result in
result from
overall
life satisfaction for both
genders.Submitted by nadiaanandh on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-argued perspective supporting equal household responsibility shared by men and women. To further enhance your task achievement, include more varied and detailed examples to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
introduction conclusion
You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, clearly stating your viewpoint which aligns well with the essay prompt.
logical structure
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with well-supported main points, aiding in a coherent argument.
clear comprehensive idea
Your argument that sharing household tasks equally promotes a healthy relationship dynamic is a strong, comprehensive idea that directly addresses the essay prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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