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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

With the advancement of technology and transportation, it has become possible for people to
travel
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 to remote natural
environments
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,
such
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 as the South Pole.
While
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 some people worry that
this
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 trend can bring harm to fragile ecosystems, others see it as an opportunity for scientific progress and unique
travel
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 experiences. The ability to
travel
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 to remote natural areas provides clear benefits. For scientists, access to places like Antarctica is crucial for conducting research on climate change, ecosystems, and wildlife.
Although
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,
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apply
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 studies can deepen people’s understanding of global environmental problems and help governments create more effective conservation policies. For tourists, visiting pristine landscapes offers unique educational experiences that can raise awareness about the importance of protecting fragile
environments
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.
Moreover
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, tourism can generate funding for conservation projects and provide economic benefits to regions that support these expeditions.
On the other hand
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, there are significant drawbacks. Increased human activity in delicate ecosystems can cause irreversible damage.
For example
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, waste, pollution, and disturbances to wildlife may threaten species that are already vulnerable. Tourism,
in particular
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, may prioritise profit over protection, leading to overcrowding and exploitation of these
environments
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.
Furthermore
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, the high carbon emissions from long-distance
travel
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 to
such
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 remote destinations contradict the very goal of preserving nature. In conclusion,
while
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 travelling to remote natural
environments
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 carries environmental risks, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages if strict regulations are enforced. Scientific research in these areas is vital for understanding global challenges, and responsible tourism can foster appreciation for nature.
However
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, it is crucial that
such
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 activities are carefully controlled to minimise negative impacts.

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task response
Task response: Your essay shows a clear view and gives each side. To make it stronger, state your main idea early and show a closer link between each point and your view.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use more clear links between ideas. Each paragraph should have one main idea, and use simple linking words like first, also, but, however, and in addition to help the write flow.
structure
The essay has a clear start, middle and end.
content
It uses real ideas like places and facts to show the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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