IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that living and working in the city offers more opportunities for a better quality of life, while others argue that working and living in the countryside brings greater benefits. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals agree that living and working in the
city
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 is good,
while
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 some
people
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 think that dwelling in rural
areas
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 is better. In
this
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 essay, I will explain both views and show some reasons why I chose the first view. On the one hand, there are many advantages to living in the
countryside
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.
Firstly
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, living in the
countryside
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 is a better option and may point to a lower risk of air pollution, which is better for
people
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's health.
Secondly
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, housing and daily expenses in the
countryside
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 are much cheaper than in the big
city
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 because the food supplies are mostly self-produced by the community.
Moreover
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, living in rural
areas
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 has a slower pace of
life
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 which helps
people
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 more relaxing and less stressful work environment.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 is a small community where inhabitants live close together and interact with each other every day, thereby making personal relationships stronger.
Additionally
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, living in the
countryside
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 has shorter commutes and fewer distractions which can help
people
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 maintain a balance between work and personal
life
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.
For example
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, some schools are very close to villages, so student movement has become easier than ever.
On the other hand
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, living in the
city
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 has several benefits.
Firstly
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, it is easier and much more convenient to get to essential services
such
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 as supermarkets, hospitals and schools. Many necessary services are located in the
city
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 centre where we can reach by public transport like buses within walking distance.
Moreover
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,
people
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 who live in a big
city
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 can access a larger quantity of job opportunities from big investors, factories and entrepreneurs.
For instance
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, it is easier for recent graduates to apply for apprenticeships to gain more experience and earn money
while
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 waiting for their main career to be successfully confirmed.
To sum up
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, there are both positive aspects of
life
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 in both urban
areas
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 and rural
areas
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.
Therefore
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, as far as I am concerned, the responsibility of individuals to make a decision in which area they will live, depending on their
life
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 purpose.

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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and presents a clear opinion, but ensure your introduction clearly states the purpose and scope of the essay. It might benefit from a slightly more engaging opening statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Most of your ideas are clearly expressed, but watch out for slightly awkward phrasing or repetitive sentences. Vary your sentence structures and word choices for better clarity and fluency.
Task Achievement
You have presented a balanced discussion by covering both views thoroughly and providing your perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction that introduces the topic and a conclusion that summarises the discussion.
Task Achievement
You have supported each point with examples, making your arguments more convincing and relatable.
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