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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe the purpose of education is to make people useful to society. Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #purpose #education #society #ambitions
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In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the importance of
education
Use synonyms
.
However
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, people hold different views about its purpose. Some individuals argue that the purpose of
education
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 is to help them reach their own goals. One of the main reasons is that students at school are able to acquire a great deal of academic knowledge, ranging from arts to science. At the same time, exposure to an environment full of peers is beneficial for them to learn how to communicate
as well as
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 interact with others, how to cooperate with partners and how to tolerate and tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
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difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
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. Both the professional knowledge and abilities obtained at school have positive effects on teenagers to walk into the workplace and society more smoothly, where they can achieve success and lead a better life. Others,
however
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, think completely distinct and believe that the aim of
education
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 is to make adolescents contribute to the whole
society
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of society
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. To be more specific, a high-quality workforce cultivated by
education
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 is essential to the development and progress of any nation, including culture, economy and science.
For example
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, a distinguished doctor who graduated from a medical school is more likely to revolutionise existing medicines or develop a new vaccine to cure rare diseases,
such
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 as
covid-19
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COVID-19
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, to rescue more lives. Another example is that when a professional athlete from a physical
education
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 college wins a medal, it can strengthen every citizen’s sense of pride and identity. In conclusion, I consider that the goal of
education
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 is to achieve both: assisting individuals to succeed and making everyone
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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valuable to society.
Thus
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, every student should cherish the opportunity of receiving an
education
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 and governments should
also
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 guarantee everyone is entitled to have access to schooling.
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coherence cohesion
Provide clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
Include more detailed specific examples to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid structure.
task achievement
Both sides of the argument have been addressed adequately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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