IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern life style. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, the emergence of easy-to-make
food
Use synonyms
 has significantly helped
people
Use synonyms
 save
time
Use synonyms
 from eating for other aspects of their lives. It is obvious that
this
Linking Words
 trend offers a number of benefits,
such
Linking Words
 as keeping more
time
Use synonyms
 for personal growth and significantly reducing domestic duties. Even though
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon has a set of downsides, I strongly believe that its positive sides are more important. On the one hand, the prime advantage that convenience
food
Use synonyms
 options provide is the
time
Use synonyms
-efficient eating,
while
Linking Words
 helping
people
Use synonyms
 to avoid wasting their
time
Use synonyms
 on cooking, and allocating enough
time
Use synonyms
 for their educational or professional development.
Thus
Linking Words
, individuals will be more likely to purchase ready meals or dine out at fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants.
Consequently
Linking Words
, having sufficient
time
Use synonyms
 for their studies or other duties, individuals will tend to succeed in the short term.
For instance
Linking Words
, most students in the USA are consuming
food
Use synonyms
 at McDonald's and KFC to keep up with their studies on
time
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, consuming fast-made meals
also
Linking Words
 comes with several drawbacks.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it may lead to health deterioration, caused by consuming nutrient-poor
food
Use synonyms
. The most purchased processed
food
Use synonyms
 refers to fast
food
Use synonyms
, which causes a variety of health issues.
For example
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 around the world are more likely to suffer from obesity caused by the consumption of junk
food
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, loss of cooking habits may have a detrimental effect on cultural practices. Since each nation has its own cuisine,
this
Linking Words
 trend will lead to the loss of cooking techniques common to each region.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, the pros outweigh the disadvantages, since individuals nowadays are in a rush, and convenience
food
Use synonyms
 may foster
time
Use synonyms
 management,
while
Linking Words
 creating a space for other new activities and hobbies. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 convenience
food
Use synonyms
 includes a number of negative points,
such
Linking Words
 as being exposed to low-quality
food
Use synonyms
, I tend to believe that the benefits hold greater significance than the drawbacks, primarily
due to
Linking Words
 saving
people
Use synonyms
's
time
Use synonyms
, which is crucial.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your essay with a short plan. Start with a brief intro that states your view. Then use two body parts: one for good points, one for bad points. End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
coherence
Use simple words to connect ideas. Use link words like and, but, so, also, for example to show a link between points.
content
Give more clear and right examples. Try to add a number, a place, or a clear fact.
grammar
Check your grammar. Make long ideas into two shorter sentences when needed.
structure
The essay keeps a clear view and is easy to follow.
coherence
There is use of contrast words to show opposite sides.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • food
  • modern
  • lifestyle
  • speed
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • time
  • busy
  • individuals
  • meals
  • quick
  • efficient
  • affordable
  • money
  • flavors
  • dishes
  • cultures
  • cooking
  • supermarkets
What to do next:
Look at other essays: