The chart gives information about the percentage of overweight men and women in Australia from 1980 to 2010

the

Fix capitalization

The

show examples

graph shows

number

Correct article usage

the number

show examples

of overweight

australians

Correct your spelling

Australian

men and

women

Use synonyms

,during

period

Correct article usage

the period

show examples

of 30

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

from 1980 to 2010. It is clear from the graph that

thhe

Correct your spelling

the

number of

overwiethg

Correct your spelling

overweight

men was higher than the data for

women

Use synonyms

Linking Words

while

Fix capitalization

While

show examples

the figures for

women

Use synonyms

went up gradually over

Correct article usage

the periodfrom

show examples

periodfrom

Correct your spelling

period from

1980 to 2010. Males' data increased slightly from 40% to 65% units between 1980 to 2000

then

Linking Words

went down over 10 follwing year.

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

during the

preiod

Correct your spelling

period

from 19980 to 2000,there was a steady rise in the figure of overweight

lady like

Check wording

ladies

show examples

from 31 to 53

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

Punctuation problem

. .then

show examples

Correct your spelling

Then

then

Linking Words

the

digit

Check wording

number

show examples

women

Use synonyms

seems to

keep

Verb problem

remain

show examples

unchagned

Correct your spelling

unchanged

between 2000 and 2010 in

nummber

Correct your spelling

numbers

over

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

50 per cent

quynhtranhbh

Aug 21, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

113 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

9
band
In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
Nowadays many students are leaving their own countries to study abroad, but what are the advantages and disadvantages of this decision? In this essay, I am going to discuss this development and give my personal opinion.
7.5
band
In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?
It is often argued whether kids should be raised strictly or if it is better to give them freedom. There are countries where young individuals have a lot of prohibitions whereas in other ones they are rarely punished for something bad like bad deeds. Although youngsters usually tend to break the rules, they have to know the boundaries that should not be crossed.
6
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very Important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
According to some, & more or fewer countries, individuals nowadays prefer to hold ownership of a household relatively renting it out, I firmly believe both have their own positive sides, which I will be discussing below.
6.5
band
Your local public library wants to make improvements to their services and facilities. In order to get ideas from the public, they have asked library users to send them suggestions in writing. Write a letter to the librarian. In your letter • describe what you like about the library • say what you don’t like • make suggestions for improvements
I have been a member of the library for two years and ,I admire the vast variety of the collection it possesses. Additionally, the seamless process to reserve books saves a lot of time, not to mention the clean environment which the staff maintains is admirable.
6.5
band
Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion?
A few decades ago, a new item called cigarettes was advertised as a kind of new entertainment product. Once it was in the market, people enjoyed them without awareness of their addiction. It was unknown how damageful it was back then. Through the years, scientists have done some research about tobacco and its harm to living things. Therefore, many people believe that this drug should be banned from the shops. In my opinion, I disagree with that thought because it is almost impossible to be forbidden.

The chart gives information about the percentage of overweight men and women in Australia from 1980 to 2010

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very Important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion?