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Writing Samples
Band 6

This process diagram shows the process of making a pencil.

This process diagram shows the process of making a pencil.
The given process diagram shows the process of making a pencil. In general, it can be clearly seen that
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 process is visibly
time consuming
Use the right word
time-consuming
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 and complex,
involves
Correct pronoun usage
it involves
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 different
technology
Fix the agreement mistake
technologies
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, most of its steps are especially necessary for the final product. At the initial phase, trees are planted, continue to grow for 4 months, and later they are replanted. When 3 years have passed, they are planted in a forest and thinned. After 14
years
Punctuation problem
years,
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 the trees are chopped down and with the help of
Correct article usage
a machine
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machine
Punctuation problem
machine,
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 cut into thin ‘slats’. These ‘slats’ are
then
Linking Words
 treated
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 when 60 days have passed
a
Punctuation problem
, a
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black lead is glued to the groove and a new ‘slat’ is added on top to make a sandwich. Before the sandwich is cut
in
Change preposition
into
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pencil sized
Use the right word
pencil-sized
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 sticks, it needs to be hard-pressed with heat.
Next
Add a comma
Next,
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 the wooden pieces are painted, sharpened,
stamped
Correct word choice
and stamped
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 to form a pencil. And at the final stage, the finished pencils are packaged in a box.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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