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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.
The map gives information and illustrates the centre of Paris. A company desired to open a restaurant
around
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the mapped area. There are 2 potential locations already marked on the map,
Correct word order
both in
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 which
both
Correct word order
apply
show examples
can be suitable and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourist
Use synonyms
attractive
Replace the word
attractions
show examples
. Located
north west
Use the right word
northwest
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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 the map,
location
Use synonyms
 1 is surrounded by 2
tourist
Use synonyms
 attractions
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are the maritime museum and the aquarium. Another
tourist
Use synonyms
 attraction can
also
Linking Words
 be visited from
this
Linking Words
location
Use synonyms
 by crossing the Bir Hakeim
bridge
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 From
Linking Words
Use the right word
there
show examples
then
Punctuation problem
then,
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 the
visitors
Use synonyms
 will be able to visit the
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 centre and east
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
location
Punctuation problem
location,
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 the visitor can
also
Linking Words
 visit the
Eiffel
Use synonyms
Tower
Use synonyms
.
Location
Use synonyms
 1 has a large number of
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the 2
tourist
Use synonyms
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
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 the same side of the
location
Use synonyms
having
Punctuation problem
, having
show examples
 more than 1000+
visitors
Use synonyms
 per day. Right outside the
location
Use synonyms
, a park can be found. Giving
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 a
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
calmer and
clear
Replace the word
clearer
show examples
 space.
Location
Use synonyms
 2, connected by the Lena
Use synonyms
Bridge
Punctuation problem
Bridge,
show examples
 can be visited by 3 ways
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 Lena
Bridge
Use synonyms
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 Debilly footbridge and the Bir
hakeim
Fix capitalization
Hakeim
show examples
bridge
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
location
Use synonyms
 gives
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 4 choices of
tourist
Use synonyms
 attraction places. The
Eiffel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tower
Fix capitalization
Tower
show examples
 can be visited directly from the restaurant
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as the Art
gallery
Fix capitalization
Gallery
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is located right next to the
location
Use synonyms
. A park can
also
Linking Words
 be visited from the
Eiffel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tower
Fix capitalization
Tower
show examples
. With more than 16000
visitors
Use synonyms
 per day on the
Eiffel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Fix capitalization
Tower
show examples
tower
Punctuation problem
tower,
show examples
 the restaurant might be crowded and
gave
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 a less relaxing mood for the
visitors
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourist, location, bridge, visitors, eiffel, tower with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proximity
  • attractions
  • landmarks
  • boost business
  • public transportation
  • accessibility
  • upscale neighborhood
  • demographic
  • premium
  • menu items
  • competition
  • market saturation
  • rental costs
  • operational costs
  • profit margins
  • foot traffic
  • amenities
  • business offices
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