IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is true that the
internet
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 has helped us to stay connected with each other easily.
While
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this
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 is one of the positive things the
internet
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 has brought, I believe there is
also
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 a negative side
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 it encourages
people
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 to spend excessive time online
instead
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 of having a real-life interaction. I agree that keeping in touch with families, friends, and even strangers has never been easier without the
internet
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. Getting to know strangers, making new connections, and even networking with our business partner can be easily accessed by clicking, typing, and calling. In
this
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 sense, the
internet
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 has brought great convenience to our daily lives. The lockdown of the COVID-19 pandemic serves as an example of why the
internet
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 has become a necessity in daily life.
For instance
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, platforms
such
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 as Zoom allow society to connect, work, and study remotely with others through voice and video calls. These are widely used by schools, offices
,
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apply
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 and have proved to be very helpful during the lockdowns. As the use of social media continues to rise,
people
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 have become more attached to the
internet
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.
However
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,
this
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 dependence on the
internet
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 can
also
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 result in social withdrawal. Some
people
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 have become so accustomed to interacting online that they begin to refuse socialising in real life, sometimes isolating themselves from other
people
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.
Additionally
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, we can see a lot of examples out there to make some statements like that. To prevent
this
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,
people
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 should be educated from a young age on how to use the
internet
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 wisely,
as well as
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 be encouraged to set limits on screen time. In conclusion,
although
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 I agree that the
internet
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 has brought us many conveniences in communicating, it has the potential to influence
people
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 to not socialise in real life.
Therefore
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, it is important to use the
internet
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 mindfully and maintain a balance between online and offline interactions.

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task response
Plan your answer. Say your view in one line in the start and add two clear reasons with a simple example for each.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with clear words. Use but, however, also, and to join thoughts.
task response
Grow detail. Give more real life examples and explain how the web helps and how it may stop people from meeting in real life.
grammar
Check small errors. Some phrases sound odd. Make your sentences simple and clear.
structure
Close with a short restate of your view.
content
Clear view that the net can help and harm social life.
example
Good use of COVID-19 Zoom as a real life example.
structure
Ending line asks for balance, which fits the task.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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