Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Many people believe that financial resources should be allocated to pressing issues rather than to the
arts
. The writer contends that striking a balance between two decisions is vital as it ensures both can benefit society as a whole. Advocates of allocating financially to the
arts
sector argue that
this
policy has advantageous impacts on the country's growth. It must be acknowledged that the
arts
go hand in hand with national prosperity.
Such
exquisite landmarks symbolize the affluence of the country; without the sophistication stemming from the creativity and dedication of those who opt for art workings, they can not be that gleaming and attractive.
As a result
, hindering tourism is inevitable, affecting the financial status of the nation.
Additionally
, the
arts
, in essence, play an indispensable role in preserving national identity and cultural values. As
this
accumulated expertise can be passed down to the younger generation, they foster a sense of connection and continuity, creating a more knowledgeable and intellectual society. Opponents of
this
view assert that granting money to the
arts
can not bring about tangible, immediate results.
Instead
of wasting subsidies on that field, more pressing social issues can be instantly alleviated using those resources. Enhancement in healthcare quality, impoverishment address, and educational development that can instantly impact living quality and societal progress should be prioritized to the
arts
.
Besides
that,
this
governmental allocation, by and large, is unnecessary since those who can afford to purchase extravagant artworks are wealthy patrons.
Thus
, redirecting funds placed in
arts
to address these needs is more effective. In conclusion,
while
the
arts
are essential in bridging the gap between generations through passed down values and contribute significantly to the economy, investment in
this
field should be diverted to tackle the social problems in the view of some when solely the wealthy
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the consumer who can approach
this
field.
This
is provided that both decisions should be accompanied by transparent and accountable monitoring to ensure benefits in developing society.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, a coherent body, and a concise conclusion. Your essay possesses these qualities, but refining them can enhance clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Strive to maintain a logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. While you present relevant examples, richer detail or more concrete evidence could bolster your points.
Grammar & Vocabulary
Consider varying your sentence structures to improve readability and keep the reader engaged. Though your essay is well-written, a wider range of sentence types can add interest.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: