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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In recent years, the question of whether the meaning of
success
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 varies across individuals has been widely debated. Whilst
success
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 has numerous definitions for different groups, I firmly believe it is strongly tied to personal and emotional fulfilment.
This
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 essay will discuss the general public's perspective and explain my own viewpoint. On the one hand, achievements in
life
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 are consistently associated with career and wealth. It is often considered that people are successful when specific goals,
such
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 as a prestigious title, a high-paying job, and professional recognition, are achieved in the eyes of their peers and society.
For example
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, Elon Musk is a renowned entrepreneur and his financial accomplishments are frequently seen as an ultimate goal by many.
Moreover
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, individuals often experience high levels of stress and anxiety
while
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 studying solely to join one of the prestigious professions, including medicine, engineering, and architecture, which demonstrates how significant a career is to many people's idea of
success
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.
On the other hand
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, I am convinced that
success
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 in
life
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 differs completely from what the majority believes, where personal and emotional aspects are far more fulfilling. Strong relationships and happiness are major components of a fulfilling
life
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, where every individual should pursue them
instead
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 of a stressful and high-paying job.
For instance
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, a 2023 study in the United States showed that key factors in real happiness include starting a family, raising children, and having deep bonds.
In contrast
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, the stress and the non-stop chase for money and a demanding career can lead to poor relationships, which may lack the support and love that are essential for happiness.
To conclude
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,
although
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 the greater part of society considers
success
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 to depend on professional and financial achievements, I believe that
success
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 relies on emotional and personal fulfilment. Interpersonal relationships and satisfaction can enhance physical and mental well-being, which is ultimately the path to an enjoyable
life
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.

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task
Your answer shows your view and gives a plan with one idea per part. To raise the score, add more depth to each idea and explain the examples more.
coherence
idea
Clear view on what success can mean to different people
structure
Good structure with introduction, two body parts and a conclusion
evidence
Examples like Elon Musk and a US study show some support
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
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