IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.

The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.
The maps illustrate how
waterfront
Correct article usage
the waterfront
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 of a town called Darwin was developed from 2009 to 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the site witnessed a clear shift from industrial facilities to greenery and leisure spaces.
However
Linking Words
, the
north
Correct word choice
northern
show examples
 part of the
area
Use synonyms
 remained unchanged. The most
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 modification is the group of trees which were planted in a place of industrial space to the south during the 5-year period. The number of residential buildings in the middle of the
area
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 increased from 3 to 6 ,
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
new university building being constructed next to them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, to the south-east, there was a swimming pool . After 5 years, in its centre stood a newly built harbour. It was
then
Linking Words
 connected to the left side by a footpath.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the north side of the town faced
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 changes. It was only the industrial
area
Use synonyms
 on top which was demolished and replaced by a swimming pool.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
shcool
Correct your spelling
school
 on the top-left corner, fishing
area
Use synonyms
 on the top-right on and two swimming pools appeared to be left unchanged.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the path surrounding the lake and trees was
also
Linking Words
 not modified and was still connected to both
west
Correct article usage
the west
show examples
 and east areas of the city.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: