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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports inone area,in 1997 and 2017.

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports inone area,in 1997 and 2017.
The bar chart illustrates the
quantity
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number
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 of
adults
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 who
participating
Wrong verb form
participated
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 in seven different major sports- tennis、basketball、cricket、golf、swimming、football，and rugby- in one place in the years 1997 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, tennis remained the largest
amount
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of the seven major sports,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
adults
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 who
joining in
Wrong verb form
joined
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 football
sport
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had undergone the most substantial increase over the period. In 1997, the
number
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 of
adults
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 in golf、swimming、football、and rugby
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 similar
around
Punctuation problem
, around
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 33
thousand
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. Tennis boasted the largest participant base of
adults
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, standing at 50
thousand
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,
while
Linking Words
adults
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 engaging in basketball were the fewest （9000）. Among all sports, the
number
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 of
adults
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 participating in cricket
were
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was
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 about 26
thousand
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. In 2017, the
number
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 of
adults
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 in basketball、football、and rugby
sharp
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sharply
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 increased by nearly 15
thousands
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thousand
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.
Adults
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 who took part in swimming remained stable
constant
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at 35
thousand
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. Golf and tennis stepped up slightly,
which
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rising 2000 and 5000, respectively. Cricket is the only sport where the
number
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 of participants has dropped
,
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apply
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 by roughly 18
thousand
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words adults, number, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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