In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays

Punctuation problem

, in

show examples

many states,

children

Use synonyms

are

educated

Verb problem

taught

show examples

that competition is important and

what

Correct word choice

that what

show examples

matters is if you come first.I disagree with

this

Linking Words

approach as it can put pressure on the kids. The obvious drawback of

this

Linking Words

trend is that it puts the child

Change preposition

under

show examples

a burden. When you expect someone to

preform everytime

Use the right word

perform every time

show examples

, chances are the person will buckle under the pressure; as if he does not

win

Punctuation problem

win,

show examples

he would be a nobody.

Consequently

Linking Words

, the kid would rather not compete than to be

percieved

Correct your spelling

perceived

as a loser. There are tons of

example

Fix the agreement mistake

examples

show examples

this

Linking Words

in the real world;

for instance

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

show examples

Pakistan

Add a comma

Pakistan,

show examples

a lot of cricketers retired quickly as they were not able to meet the expectations people held of them.

As a result

Linking Words

, many of them got into severe depression if they could not

preform

Use the right word

perform

show examples

However

Linking Words

, some suggest that

this

Linking Words

approach has its benefits. The chief merit being

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

that the child will want to

truimph

Correct your spelling

triumph

in whatever they do.

According to

Linking Words

them, if

children

Use synonyms

are taught

this

Linking Words

mindset from a young

age

Punctuation problem

age,

show examples

they would be willing to put in the work to succeed. In today's day and

age

Punctuation problem

age,

show examples

where competition is at an

all time

Use the right word

all-time

show examples

high

;

Punctuation problem

show examples

teaching

children

Use synonyms

to not

Correct word order

not to

show examples

shy away from competing can ,thereby, benefit them in their future

endevours

Correct your spelling

endeavours

. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

approach can cause one to work hard towards their

goal

Punctuation problem

goal,

show examples

it can

also

Linking Words

demotivate them since

anthing

Correct your spelling

anything

below

this

Linking Words

threshold means nothing.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that rather than teaching

children

Use synonyms

that winning is everything,

Use the right word

show examples

will be

btter

Correct your spelling

better

to teach them to give their all when doing something no

mattee

Correct your spelling

matter

the results.

yahyakundi456

Sep 16, 2025

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task response

Say your view in the first line. The intro should be clear and short.

grammar

Use short sentences. There are many long, run on lines.

cohesion

Use one idea per paragraph and use easy words so the flow is clear.

language

Check your spell and word use. Fix words like preform, percieved, endeavours.

content

Your view that winning is not the only goal is clear.

examples

You give a real life idea to back your point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achievement
drive
personal growth
self-esteem
resilience
perseverance
strategic thinking
pressure
time management
mental health
well-being
burnout
teamwork
cooperation
personal success
collaborative efforts
rivalry
camaraderie
unethical behavior
cheating
integrity
moral compass
long-term consequences
work-life balance
job satisfaction

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In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are going abroad on holiday and your friend will stay in your home while you are away. Write a letter to your friend, in your letter - explain where you hide the keys - describe what your friend needs to do in your absent - say when you are coming back

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarket is going money to schools to promote their products. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your knowledge or experience.

Child labour is considered to be one of the most serious problems on the planet. What are the reasons why children find themselves in child labour and can be done to tackle this issue ?