IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think online education is more effective than traditional education. Do you agree or disagree?"

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In recent years, online
education
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 has gained popularity, with many believing it is more effective than traditional classroom learning.
While
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 some argue that in-person
education
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 fosters better interaction, I strongly agree that online learning is more beneficial
due to
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 its flexibility and vast resources. One major advantage of online
education
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 is its flexibility. Unlike traditional schooling, online courses allow
students
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 to learn at their own pace and schedule.
This
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 is especially helpful for working professionals and
students
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 with other commitments.
For instance
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, platforms like Coursera and Udemy offer pre-recorded lectures that learners can access anytime, ensuring better comprehension and convenience.
Additionally
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, online
education
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 provides a wealth of resources that enhance learning. Unlike physical classrooms, where materials may be limited, digital platforms offer a variety of study tools,
such
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 as recorded lectures, e-books, and interactive exercises. A study by Harvard University found that
students
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 in online courses retained 25% more information compared to those in traditional settings, highlighting the effectiveness of diverse learning materials.
However
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, critics argue that online
education
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 lacks face-to-face interaction, which is crucial for communication skills.
While
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this
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 is true, modern technology,
such
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 as live video classes and discussion forums, bridges
this
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 gap, ensuring
students
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 can still engage effectively. In conclusion,
while
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 traditional
education
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 has its merits, online learning offers greater flexibility and access to abundant resources, making it a superior alternative. As technology advances, online
education
Use synonyms
 will likely become even more effective in the future.

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Task Response
Consider expanding on your introduction to provide a clearer context for the discussion on online education and its effectiveness compared to traditional education. This can help set the stage for your argument more effectively.
Task Response
In your body paragraphs, ensure that each point is distinctly supported by examples or evidence. While your examples are relevant, providing more specific cases can enhance clarity and support your arguments even better.
Coherence and Cohesion
You might want to improve the flow between your sentences and paragraphs. Using linking phrases can help guide the reader through your argumentations more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Reiterate the main points in your conclusion more explicitly to reinforce the strength of your argument. This will leave a lasting impression on the readers.
Task Response
Your essay presents a clear argument in favor of online education, with strong points on flexibility and access to resources.
Task Response
You have used relevant and up-to-date examples, such as mentioning Coursera and Udemy, which effectively support your viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your use of varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures is commendable, showcasing a high level of English proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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