IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today’s interconnected world, the movement of highly skilled workers across borders has become increasingly common.
While
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 some argue that
professionals
Use synonyms
such
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 as doctors and engineers should be obliged to serve in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they received their training, others believe that they should have the opportunity to choose where to
work
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the argument before presenting my own view. On the one hand, there are strong arguments for requiring
professionals
Use synonyms
 to stay in their training
country
Use synonyms
. First of all, in order to cultivate a professor,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 invest loads of money in their
country
Use synonyms
.
This
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 investment contains the hope that cultivated
professionals
Use synonyms
 can contribute to the regions and industries of their own
country
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.
Additionally
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, if the
professionals
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 in another
country
Use synonyms
, there will be a shortage of public services.
For instance
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, doctors play a crucial role in
medicine
Replace the word
medical
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 facilities. The departure of doctors leads to a shortage of medical resources, leaving many people unable to access medical care, which would harm the development of the
country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, many people argue that
professionals
Use synonyms
 have the
freedom
Use synonyms
 to decide where to
work
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Freedom
Correct article usage
The freedom
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 to choose workplaces is every
residents’
Check wording
resident’s
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 right, and
restrict
Wrong verb form
restricting
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 it will slow down personal growth.
In addition
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, working globally can not only promote international exchanges
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 but
also
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 drive the convergence and progression of technology. Taking the United
States
Check wording
States'
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 offering
high
Change preposition
of high
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 salaries to recruit Chinese programmers as an example, various new AI technologies have emerged today,
such
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 as ChatGPT and Grok. Not restricting the
work
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freedom
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 of
professionals
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 can facilitate international exchange and cooperation. In my view,
professionals
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 should not be forced to
work
Use synonyms
 in their training
country
Use synonyms
. Using compulsory rules
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 places is not a good choice. I believe
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 could develop a one-year overseas exchange programme to foster professional learning. Enable them to experience and identify their own interests. In conclusion,
while
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 requiring
professionals
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in their training
country
Use synonyms
 has some benefits, restricting people’s
freedom
Use synonyms
 is not
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 best solution. Looking ahead, it is essential for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to balance personal
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
 and proper
obligation
Fix the agreement mistake
obligations
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,as
this
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 will be more effective in ensuring both national and
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
.
Check wording
interests.
show examples

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planning
Start with a clear view in the first paragraph and restate it in the end of the intro.
grammar
Many word errors. Use plain words and short sentences. Do not use 'professor' for 'doctor' or 'engineer'.
structure
Make one clear idea per paragraph: idea, reason, example.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas connect, like 'also', 'but', 'for example', 'however'.
conclusion
Finish with a short, clear conclusion that repeats your view.
task-relevance
The essay has a clear plan and shows both sides.
organization
The order of parts (intro, two bodies, conclusion) is clear.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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