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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays more and more tasks at home and at work are being performed by robots. Why do you think it’s happening? Is it a negative or positive development?ieltsxpress-logo

Most
people
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 and business owners are using
robots
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 to finish their daily
tasks
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, because of the life demands and the increase of labour price. There are many benefits of using
robots
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, which represent saving
time
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 for families to spend on leisure activities and business owners can
use
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 fewer workers to finish the job at no cost.
Robots
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 are one of the most influential cutting-edge technology. To deal with the increased demands of families' daily
tasks
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,
people
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 tend to
use
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 robotics devices to clean houses and meal preparation.
For example
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, a robot vacuum is a popular device that helps keep floors clean and folds laundry.
In addition
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, most companies
use
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robots
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 to finish the cleaning
tasks
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 at the office,
instead
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 of hiring extra workers to do the job. Robotic technology proves to have many advantages.
Firstly
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, it helps
people
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 to save
time
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 and effort in doing house
tasks
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, using
robots
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 can finish multitasks within an hour.
As a result
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,
people
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 can spend their
time
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 doing leisure activities with other family members.
Secondly
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, it is financially beneficial to
use
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robots
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 in companies,
instead
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 of spending millions on worker's salaries, it is worth buying one robotic device to finish the work. In Japan,
for instance
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, many shops are using
robots
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 to guide customers inside the shop and do the cashier task. In conclusion,
robots
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 are essential nowadays to complete the daily
tasks
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 that take
time
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 and effort from families and business owners. It helps
people
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 to have more free
time
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 and save money on companies budget.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to better illustrate your points. For instance, you could mention another specific industry besides cleaning where robots are making a significant impact.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to achieve higher coherence. Linking words like 'however,' 'therefore,' and 'furthermore' can help in connecting ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Work on expanding each main point with more details and explanations. This can help to enhance the clarity and comprehension of your ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively by discussing both why the trend of robot usage is happening and whether it is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good context for the essay, effectively framing your arguments.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant, especially the use of robots in domestic settings and Japanese shops. These examples support your main points well.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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