IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside rather than in a big city. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each place?

Many people contend that it is better for
children
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 to grow up in the
countryside
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,
while
Linking Words
 others maintain that big cities have more advantages.
This
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 essay will discuss both environments before presenting a reasoned conclusion. The
countryside
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 is typically
characterized
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characterised
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 by a community of small villages with natural surroundings.
This
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 provides
children
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 with ample opportunity to play outside, which not only promotes physical activity and a connection with the natural world but
also
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 leads to better physical and mental health. Studies from the University of Freiburg show that going for a walk in the forest for only half an hour a day can boost dopamine and increase happiness. With nature always near,
this
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 can contribute to a happy and healthy life.
On the other hand
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, living in the
countryside
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 limits
children
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's
access
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 to educational, cultural, and social opportunities.
Due to
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 long travel times, they might find it difficult to participate in extracurricular activities, attend
specialized
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specialised
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 schools, or visit museums and
theaters
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theatres
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, which are more common in cities.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 leads to less diversity, which can limit a child's exposure to different cultures and ways of thinking.
This
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 can sometimes result in feelings of social isolation, as they may have a smaller peer group to interact with outside of school. In summary,
children
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 have restricted
access
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 to a wide range of activities and
less choice
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer choices
show examples
 of people to interact with. In conclusion,
while
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 the
countryside
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 provides
children
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 with
access
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 to nature and a healthier lifestyle, it
also
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 limits their
access
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 to a wide range of activities and a smaller pool of people to connect with. Ultimately, both environments have distinct advantages and disadvantages, and the choice of where to raise a family is a personal one.

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coherence
Improve flow by using clearer links so ideas flow in a straight line.
coherence
Give more strong points for both sides and tie each point to the task.
task
Make the ending clearer by restating your view and the two sides.
content
Check facts you mention and use safe, simple phrasing for numbers or studies.
style
Shorten long sentences and use simpler words.
structure
Clear opening that states the topic and the two sides.
content
Balanced view with both countryside and city points.
writing
Good use of linking words to show contrast and comparison.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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