Write about the following topic: Recent advances in technology leads the fact that human workforce is gradually replaced with machinery. What are some problems caused by this trend, and how could they be dealt with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. You should write at least 250 words.

Recent advances in technology lead to the fact that the human workforce is gradually being replaced with
machinery
is becoming more widespread in many parts of the world these days. There are several problems caused by
this
trend, and various solutions could be taken to improve the situation. There are a variety of different problems with
this
phenomenon.
To begin
with, heavy work in fields that require a large number of
workers
, but productivity has not improved,
while
machines can help achieve the most optimal efficiency.
Example
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For example
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, in today’s agricultural sector, people Plow and harvest using supporting
machinery
such
as tillers, rice harvesters and pesticide sprayers, … to achieve the most optimal productivity. Another significant problem to mention is that optimizing technologies using AI saves many
workers
for large businesses in the fields of entertainment and resorts. Explanations a hotel in Ho Chi Minh City has used smart technology to self-check-in without the need for service and support staff. Despite these circumstances, there are solutions that governments could take to solve the problems.
Firstly
, an effective solution would be to create laws to protect
workers
. In case factories want to put
machinery
into production, they need to ensure the number of
workers
they retain and at the same time limit the amount of
machinery
brought in.
Example
Change preposition
For example
show examples
, the states have issued the 2013 labour code on the obligations of employers in cases of changes in production structure. The second measure would be for governments to strictly prohibit to use of AI for improper purposes that harm the community. Details the state promulgates a law on cyber security, ensuring the prevention of false news that creates negative and toxic effects on public opinion. In conclusion, the problem of the human workforce being gradually replaced with
machinery
is unlikely to be eliminated in the short term.
However
, various solutions can be taken to tackle the issue to reduce the effects.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of ideas. The essay sometimes jumps from one point to another without clear connections between them. Improve the linkage of main points with appropriate cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effective. Make sure that the introduction clearly states the issue and your stance, while the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with relevant examples and explanations. Some examples provided are not fully explained or connected to the arguments. Consider elaborating on the examples to clearly illustrate the point made.
task achievement
Make sure the response is complete, covering all aspects of the task. The essay addresses the causes and solutions, but the development of these points can be more thorough to enhance task completion.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear and comprehensive. Work on clarifying your arguments by defining key terms and ideas at the outset, concluding each paragraph with a summary sentence that makes your viewpoint clear.
task achievement
Develop your points with specific, relevant examples. Some of your examples are either general or partially developed. Detailed examples strengthen your argument and make your writing more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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