RECRUITING SOLDIERS FOR A SHORT SPAN FOR A BETTER COUNTRY. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Miltry
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Military
service
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play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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a vital role in the safety of the country, leading to a debate about whether
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should
hier
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hire
individuals
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in
army
Correct article usage
the army
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for a short time of period.
While
Linking Words
the following trend may cause ethical concerns, fairness and equity and violation of autonomy,
i
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I
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believe it can
develops
Wrong verb form
develop
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the national unity, essential skills and
promotes
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promote
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a large reserve.
Although
Linking Words
the safety of the notion is important, the significance of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
an individuals
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individuals
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individual's
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life is equally vital.
Dwelleres
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Dweller's
life, which can be vanished by sending them into combat situations,
aspecially
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especially
with short-term training. If
administration
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the administration
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recruit
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recruits
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soldiers forcefully, they may
voilate
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violate
an
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individuals
Check wording
individual's
show examples
bodily autonomy and freedom.
Eventhough
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Even though
sort-term
Use the right word
short-term
show examples
miltry
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military
service
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is
demanding
Correct article usage
a demanding
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option, it seems unfair with the
preceived
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perceived
sacrifices of older or wealthier generations.
However
Linking Words
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
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impose short-term defence
service
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as mandatory for everyone, they can foster a
sence
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sense
of unity among citizens.
Partispating
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Participating
in military services may develop skills like problem-solving, discipline,and
responsibilty
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responsibility
in
individuals
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. Not only
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
short-term military
service
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help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
to
Verb problem
learn to
show examples
basics of military,
also
Linking Words
admire
Verb problem
inspires
show examples
them to
parsue
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pursue
military
service
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as their future job.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
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safety is important, it should be
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the individuals
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individuals
Check wording
individual's
show examples
personal choice whether they want to join
army
Correct article usage
the army
show examples
for
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
span or not.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
military
service
Use synonyms
teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
about work ethics and social skills, it may cause violation and unfairness among
allready servered
Correct your spelling
already served
individuals
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Your essay shows two sides, but your view is not clear. State your main point in the start and keep it till the end.
structure
Connect ideas with linking words. Use clear order: first, next, finally. Each idea should have a reason.
development
Give a real example or clear reason to back a claim. Right now, ideas are not strong.
language
Check the spelling and form. Some words are wrong and make the meaning hard to follow.
strength
The topic is found and you show some care to the issue.
strength
There is some sense of unity in your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • agree
  • disagree
  • recruit
  • soldiers
  • short
  • span
  • country
  • service
  • army
  • defence
  • safety
  • discipline
  • team
  • work
  • skill
  • first aid
  • leadership
  • rules
  • rights
  • freedom
  • choice
  • fairness
  • health
  • exemption
  • voluntary
  • compulsory
  • time
  • duration
  • plan
  • future
  • education
  • job
  • war
  • peace
  • citizen
  • duty
  • matter
What to do next:
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