IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In your letter: Explain why you are writing. Describe your qualifications and experience. Say why you are interested in this job. Write to a company to seek a position

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Dear Sir, Perhaps, there is a Brand Manager position for me in your company. My name is Sara White. Before I worked at the prestigious Nike company as a Brand Manager.
However
Linking Words
, I left the firm on account of the discontinuance of the business and so I am writing to you about the possibility of
Brand
Correct article usage
a Brand
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 Manager at your company for the coming year(September 2025 August 2026). I am 28 years of age. I am a graduate of Oxford University and have recently completed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 business course at Harvard University. As
regard
Fix the agreement mistake
regards
show examples
 salary, I hesitate to state a definite salary, but, as long as you have requested me to, I should consider 800$ a month satisfactory. I hope that you will be kind enough to consider my application favourably. Regards, Billura.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider adding a formal greeting such as 'Dear Hiring Manager' and ensure that the closing is more formal as well, such as 'Sincerely.'
task achievement
Provide more details about your experience at Nike and specific achievements that demonstrate your qualifications for the Brand Manager role.
task achievement
Clarify your availability and eagerness for the position, which could express a stronger interest in the job.
task achievement
Ensure the salary information is presented professionally, potentially signaling openness to discussion rather than a firm number.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure that includes an introduction, body, and closing.
task achievement
You demonstrate a good educational background and experience relevant to the position you're applying for.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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