IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, parents are deciding to have children later in their lives. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Recent years have seen lots of changes in the
birth
Use synonyms
 rate around the globe. People choose to have less children and they tend to enter marrige and give
birth
Use synonyms
 in a mature, or should we say,in a relatively late
age
Use synonyms
. Some people in China hold that having
Use synonyms
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a younger
age
Use synonyms
 helps mothers recover and regain energy, claiming "25-28"is the golden
age
Use synonyms
 for
pregananc
Correct your spelling
pregnancy
. Being
preganant
Correct your spelling
pregnant
 in one's 20s may possess
such
Linking Words
benefit
Correct article usage
a benefit
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I view
this
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a different angle. First of all, carrying a
baby
Use synonyms
 can be a great responsibility for younger moms and dads. Giving
birth
Use synonyms
nowdays
Use the right word
nowadays
show examples
 is not just about keeping a
baby
Use synonyms
 alive, parents are entitled to make sure their younger generation is well educated and to raise them decently so that our child can survive in the world of competition, which, no doubt, requires us tremendous material devotion. Let alone taking care of the youth's feelings and helping them with confidence construction. In
this
Linking Words
 case,choosing
having
Wrong verb form
to have
show examples
Use synonyms
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a later
age
Use synonyms
 leaves parents more time to construct a better life and helps provide a stable life to kids.
Secondly
Linking Words
, lots of females ,especially those in the developing countries or regions ,
such
Linking Words
 as women from Yunnan Province in China, get married and have
chirlden
Correct your spelling
children
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a very early
age
Use synonyms
(some even marry at 17, most unwillingly)and they usually carry more than two babies. In the meantime, the economy and education
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 less developed in
such
Linking Words
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
, which results in increasing hygiene and health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 the widening of
gap
Correct article usage
the gap
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 education. All in all , no
age
Use synonyms
 is the golden
age
Use synonyms
 for giving or not giving
birth
Use synonyms
. To choose
marrige
Correct your spelling
marriage
 or not and have a
baby
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 what time can just be a personal choice. The problem is not whether we get
preganant
Correct your spelling
pregnant
 in
20s
Correct pronoun usage
our 20s
show examples
 or 30s or even
40
Correct your spelling
40s
-50s. What matters is we have the
judgenment
Correct your spelling
judgment
 and
responsibity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to choose the way that we live.

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content
Try to pick one clear idea as your main point and stick to it. Show your view in one line at the start and refer to it in every paragraph.
language
Use shorter and clear sentences. What you mean should be easy to see. Check your spelling and fix common errors.
structure
Use a simple structure: introduction with your view, two body paragraphs with reasons and a small example, and a short conclusion.
structure
The writer tries to use order words like First, Secondly, All in all.
content
There is a real attempt to discuss both sides and to give examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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