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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the differences in how people in 3 countries learned English in 2010 and 2015.

The charts below show the differences in how people in 3 countries learned English in 2010 and 2015.
The figures show the three different English learning methods, including practical classes, online sources, and abroad, among three countries in 2010 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the evening
class
Use synonyms
 dominated the main part in most situations,
while
Linking Words
 the online learning was the smallest part in 2010. By 2010, the evening
class
Use synonyms
 was the largest part in all three countries, which took over 70 per cent. Learning English abroad occupied 25 and 20 per cent in
Country
Use synonyms
 A and
Country
Use synonyms
 B, respectively. Notably, there were no students to select for learning abroad in
Country
Use synonyms
 C.
In addition
Linking Words
, online resources accounted for under 10 per cent. By 2015,
in contrast
Linking Words
, the evening
class
Use synonyms
 dropped slightly in both countries,
whereas
Linking Words
 the online
class
Use synonyms
 climbed by double or more in every
country
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the method of studying abroad to learn English increased gradually in
Country
Use synonyms
 C,
while
Linking Words
 it remained stable in
Country
Use synonyms
 B and decreased slightly in
Country
Use synonyms
 A.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words class, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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