Organizing tours to remote places and communities is becoming more and more popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment?

In the contemporary era, destinations of
tourism
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have become highly debated by the public. There is a popularity among tours to remote areas. From my perspective, the positive effects primarily outweigh the negative ones , as balanced attention is put on the ecosystem and local
economy
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. Promoting
tourism
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in remote areas exerts a positive effect on the local
economy
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. Some regions,
such
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as the countryside in China, have yielded benefits from the development of
tourism
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.
For instance
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, a large tourist flow facilitates the local agriculture, and many
tourists
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purchase the local products
such
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as tea, rice, and dried fruits.
This
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phenomenon, no doubt, raises the local income of families and enhances the local
economy
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.
Therefore
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, the local people can enjoy a better quality of life.
In addition
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, the area is likely to get attention from the government
due to
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the significant economic effect. The government can invest in developing the infrastructure, thereby bringing convenience to both residents and
tourists
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.
On the other hand
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, being popular among
tourists
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is not always a good thing for the local environment, as the
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
of
tourists
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may undermine the local ecosystem. In regard to Bali, a travelling destination, its local environment has been destroyed by waste
such
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as plastic bottles and tissues consumed. It reflects the potential risk that excessive human activities may be detrimental to the environment and result in irreversible pollution.
Moreover
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, some
tourists
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lack environmental awareness of protecting the local ecosystem.
As a result
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, the local grasslands are diminishing since
tourists
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behaviors
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behaviours
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ruin the local biodiversity. Admittedly,
organizations
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organisations
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indeed contribute to the economic and positively raise people’s index of happiness by creating economic value.
However
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, if the damage and unlimited pollution stick to the local community, the environmental crisis will be amplified and get worse and worse. In conclusion,
tourism
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has a profound influence on the local
economy
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.
However
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, the environmental issue cannot be ignored. A balanced approach should be introduced to make a harmonious, eco-friendly community.

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task response
In the intro, give a clear thesis that shows your main view and the plan, in one short line.
coherence
Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence. Keep one main idea per paragraph.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas connect (for example, 'also', 'however', 'finally').
task response
Give more strong, precise examples to back up points; explain how they show impact on people and nature.
task response
The essay takes a clear stance and keeps a balanced view of pros and cons.
coherence
There are real examples (China countryside, Bali) to support points.
coherence
The paragraph on economy and the one on the environment are separated,
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tourism
  • community
  • environment
  • job
  • local
  • culture
  • tradition
  • guide
  • tourist
  • economy
  • nature
  • pollution
  • heritage
  • hospitality
  • infrastructure
  • development
  • education
  • experience
  • change
  • challenge
  • protect
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