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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In many cities worldwide, an increasing number of young people are choosing to pursue work-based training, rather than enrolling in
university
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.
Although
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this
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 trend may have some
disadvantages
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, I strongly believe that its advantages far outweigh the
disadvantages
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. On the one hand, opting for work-based training means that young people might miss out on academic knowledge and formal qualifications that universities provide. For certain professions, especially those in medicine, law, or engineering, a
university
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 degree is often the minimum requirement. Without
such
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 credentials, individuals may find it difficult to enter these
specialized
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specialised
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 fields or progress in their careers.
For instance
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, the position of an executive officer in many
organizations
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organisations
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 typically demands at least a bachelor’s degree, potentially limiting opportunities for those without higher education.
On the other hand
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, there are substantial advantages to work-based training.
Firstly
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, practical training equips young people with hands-on skills that are directly relevant to the workplace. In today's rapidly changing job market, employers often value practical experience and technical abilities over theoretical knowledge. Vocational training can
thus
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 offer a faster and more cost-effective route to employment, especially for those who may not thrive in an academic environment.
Furthermore
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, there are numerous examples of highly successful individuals,
such
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 as Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, who did not complete
university
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 degrees but excelled
due to
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 their practical skills and entrepreneurial spirit.
This
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 suggests that alternative pathways can
also
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 lead to remarkable achievements. In conclusion,
while
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 there are certain
disadvantages
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 to forgoing
university
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 education, I am convinced that the benefits of work-based training—
such
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 as gaining practical skills and quicker entry into the workforce—are more significant.
Therefore
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, the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 trend clearly outweigh the
disadvantages
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.

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task
Give more detail on the bad side with one or two real cases.
coherence
Tie the end back to the start by restating the main idea in the conclusion.
coherence
Make the links between ideas a bit more varied to keep flow.
task
Add a little more proof or data to show why work training can be better for some people.
task
Clear position and good view of the topic.
coherence
Good use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show balance.
content
Useful examples like Jobs and Gates.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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