IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Taking
risks
Use synonyms
 in professional and personal
life
Use synonyms
 is very important for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. I will discuss both points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Taking
risks
Use synonyms
 in professional
life
Use synonyms
outcome
Check wording
results in
show examples
 a smart job where
people
Use synonyms
 get
promotion
Replace the word
promoted
show examples
 for their unique
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
 in
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
. Employees are in offices
afraid
Punctuation problem
, afraid
show examples
 of taking
risks
Use synonyms
 in their duties
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
confidence
Use synonyms
. If they make
voice
Correct article usage
a voice
show examples
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of
manager
Correct article usage
the manager
show examples
 and take decisions on time
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 brings out profit for
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
, they could be promoted by the authorities.
For example
Linking Words
, many junior officers get
promotion
Replace the word
promoted
show examples
 earlier than senior
officer
Fix the agreement mistake
officers
show examples
 because of taking
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
. So, sometimes taking
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 is very
benac
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 has advantageous in professional
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, sometimes taking
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 in professional sectors
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
insecurit
Correct your spelling
insecurity
 of
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
,
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
show examples
 the
companies
Check wording
company's
show examples
 rule and reputation. Another
topics
Fix the agreement mistake
topic
show examples
 is taking
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 in personal lives
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
demonstrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrates
show examples
 the extra benefit
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Many small businessmen are happy to
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 in their business and they profit in the long run. They can make profits because of their endeavour hardworking and
confidence
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, taking
risks
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have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
positive
Verb problem
has positive
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 and negative
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 better than without taking action. If
pe
Check wording
apply
show examples
it brings positive
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
, it will
be helped
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to take more
risks
Use synonyms
 in future and
feel
Verb problem
give
show examples
 them more
confidence
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, if they fail, they will
also
Linking Words
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
also
Linking Words
 learned something from the mistakes. It will give them more energy to boost their
confidence
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their personal
life
Use synonyms
.
So
Rephrase
apply
show examples
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can achieve more things by taking
risks
Use synonyms
 in their lives. In conclusion, I strongly believe that human should
be taken
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 more
risks
Use synonyms
 in their work
employment
Punctuation problem
, employment
show examples
 and personal lives
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to better
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 and success.

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task
Make your view clear in the first lines and stay with one side in the end
content
Give a real main idea for each paragraph and check it links to your view
coherence
Use words to join ideas, like 'also', 'then', 'but', 'however'
language
Fix spelling and grammar so it is easy to read
task
The essay tries to talk about both work and life risk
content
There are moments where ideas are clear and show some support

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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