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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineer, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today’s professional world, there is an ongoing debate about whether
doctors
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 and
engineers
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 should be obligated to
work
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 in the
country
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 where they completed their training,
while
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 others believe they should be free to
work
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 abroad if they wish.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and give a personal opinion. On the one hand, some
people
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 argue that
engineers
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 and
doctors
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 should
work
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 in their homeland
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because they owe it to the nation and its citizens. Charitable organisations and humanitarian foundations often make donations for scholarships, and many students are able to take these opportunities to complete their education.
For
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this
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 reason, supporters believe that
professionals
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 have a responsibility to give back to the society that supported them.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 want to improve their
country
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 in every aspect,
such
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 as health conditions and socio-economic development, and
hence
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 they believe that
professionals
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 should stay and contribute to
this
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 progress.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 believe that
doctors
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 and
engineers
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 should have the freedom to
work
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 abroad if they wish. They argue that forcing
professionals
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 to stay in their home
country
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 may limit their career opportunities and personal growth.
In addition
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, in some countries, working conditions are poor
due to
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 low salaries, lack of equipment, or long hours, which makes it difficult for skilled
people
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 to reach their full potential.
For
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this
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 reason, they may choose to move abroad to gain better experience and improve their standard of living. Supporters of
this
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 view
also
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 claim that
professionals
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 who
work
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 overseas can later bring back valuable knowledge and expertise to their own
country
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. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
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 argue that
doctors
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 and
engineers
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 are obligated to
work
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 in their home
country
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 because of the support they receive during their training, others believe they should have the freedom to choose where they want to build their careers. In my opinion,
professionals
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 should not be forced, as
this
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 may harm their motivation and productivity.
Instead
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, governments should improve working conditions and provide incentives, so that skilled
people
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 are encouraged to stay and contribute voluntarily to their nation

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task response
Make the reasons more clear and link them to the task.
examples
Give more exact examples to show the point.
language
Use short, simple sentences to keep smooth flow.
coherence
Use linking words to show contrast and result.
structure
State your main idea early in the intro and restate it in the end.
strength
The essay shows a clear stance and a good balance of ideas.
strength
Good use of connectors to show contrast.
strength
It has an order with intro, body, and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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