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Band 6.5

Some feel that the best way to ensure a happy home life for children is for parents to take a parenting course once a year. Others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about how to maintain
children
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's happiness and well-being at home.
While
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 some highlight the importance of annual parenting courses for
parents
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, others disagree, believing that effective parenting can be learned from experience.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before giving a personal view. It is often argued that enrolling in parenting courses regularly offers guidance for raising
children
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 effectively. These courses are designed by experts who understand child psychology and family dynamics. Participating in
such
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 programs allows
parents
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 to learn practical strategies for communication and discipline.
For instance
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,
parents
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 who attend
such
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 training learn to handle emotional outbursts calmly and encourage
children
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 through positive reinforcement.
In addition
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, parenting classes are
also
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 helpful for new
parents
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 who do not have elderly relatives to give them advice.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that
parents
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 may not need parent training programmes to ensure a harmonious family life.
This
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 is mostly because textbooks cannot be applied to every child,
while
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 only
parents
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 truly understand
children
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's unique personalities and needs.
Moreover
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, parenting skills grow naturally through experience. Adults can empathise with their own
children
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 because they were once
children
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 themselves.
According to
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 a recent survey,
children
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's mental health has improved compared to previous generations because the approach of modern
parents
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 is more friendly. In conclusion, engaging in a parenting course once a year provides guidance to support
children
Use synonyms
's growth and development.
However
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, others emphasise that creating a happy home life through personal experience is better. In my opinion, both views are important. Adopting them in a balanced way is more impactful.
Parents
Use synonyms
 can combine both approaches and apply what works in each different situation.

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task response
Add more strong and clear examples for each view to back up points.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas clearer and use simple linking words to show flow.
language
Use shorter sentences where possible and check word choice to keep simple.
task response
End with a clear line that restates your view and how you think the two sides can fit.
task response
Clear stance on the topic in the end.
structure
Three clear paragraphs with a good start, middle and end.
content
Some real life ideas used as examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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