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Band 6

International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries open their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

#travel #countries #doors #tourists #tourism
Over the
last
 few decades, it has become less expensive to spend your vacation abroad and numerous countries have started inviting travelers from all over the world.
This
 essay agrees that
this
 phenomenon has far more benefits than drawbacks. One of the main positives of international
tourism
 is that foreign
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 significantly contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national income. It means that
due to
 the development of
tourism
Add a comma
tourism,
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 the local
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 market and private business
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 proliferating.
For example
, the increased number of
tourists
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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 to stimulate the appearance of new hotels, restaurants, and entertainment agencies, which creates additional workplaces and income. An additional reason to facilitate international
tourism
 is that
along with
 tourist infrastructure, other facilities usually undergo substantial reconstruction.
For instance
, owing to the growing number of Chinese
tourists
 visiting Lenin’s hometown in Russia, local authorities have rebuilt major roads and begun to renovate city parks and ponds. It can be explained by the fact that the city budget gets replenished with additional profits, which are wisely allocated for the good of all the citizens and
tourists
.
However
, there are some drawbacks associated with travelling foreigners; one of them is the rising level of pollution and congestion.
This
 is an inevitable outcome of
tourism
, as crowds of
tourists
 roam around famous landmarks, bringing piles of garbage, producing more greenhouse gas emissions, and traffic jams. In conclusion, I would like to highlight that the merits of an increased tourist stream, in terms of boosting local economies and improving people’s lives prevail over the downsides
such
 as the soaring quantity of litter.
However
, it is recommended to take additional actions for governments to employ extra maintenance workers,
as well as
 to implement a system of fines for those who disregard ecology laws.
Submitted by d.i.kuprin on

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task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples to support each advantage or disadvantage mentioned. Personal, local, or widely-recognized examples can be effective.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions and linking phrases between paragraphs to enhance the reader's understanding of the logical progression.
task achievement
For a higher score, aim to elaborate more on the disadvantages to provide a more balanced argument, which is essential in a discussion essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and discourse markers to show a more sophisticated control over the essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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