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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the proportions of adults in Canada who own one car, two cars, more than two cars, or who do not own a car.

The chart below shows the proportions of adults in Canada who own one car, two cars, more than two cars, or who do not own a car.
The chart illustrates the proportions of
people
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
 who
owns
Correct subject-verb agreement
own
show examples
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
car
Use synonyms
,
two
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 or multiple, even those without a
car
Use synonyms
. Overview,
people
Use synonyms
 with
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 are higher than all of the others
compaind
Correct your spelling
combined
, which takes over half of the chart,
then
Linking Words
 those with
two
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 were second.
While
Linking Words
 adults without
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 were
third,
Linking Words
the
last
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 with
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 amount were the
people
Use synonyms
 with more than
two
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Punctuation problem
with,
show examples
 adults with
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were above 50% in
Canada
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 with
two
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 came second and
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 part
almost
Punctuation problem
, almost
show examples
 30% of the population of
Canada
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 number is great
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to others
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 with no
car
Use synonyms
 or those with more than
two
Use synonyms
, but it
sound
Correct subject-verb agreement
sounds
show examples
 small
compare
Replace the word
compared
show examples
 to the huge
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
people
Use synonyms
 with
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 with no
car
Use synonyms
 came third in the chart
around
Punctuation problem
, around
show examples
 25% of the
people
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
, it
Punctuation problem
. It
show examples
 seems lots
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
with out
Use the right word
without
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
 of the
poplution
Correct your spelling
population
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
without
Verb problem
is without
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Finally
Punctuation problem
Finally,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 with
cars
Use synonyms
 or more,
this
Linking Words
 is
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 number
Punctuation problem
, actally
show examples
actally
Correct your spelling
actually
around 5% of the
people
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, canada, car, two, cars, one with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportions" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion
  • Percentage
  • Ownership
  • Trend
  • Urban
  • Rural
  • Public transportation
  • Environmental impact
  • Government policies
  • Subsidy
  • Electric cars
  • Cultural attitudes
  • Income level
  • Economic factors
  • Technological advancement
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