IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the changes in three different areas of crime in Manchester city centre from 2003-2012.

The chart below shows the changes in three different areas of crime in Manchester city centre from 2003-2012.
The line graph presents the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
committed crimes (burglary,car theft,robbery) in Manchester City between 2003 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shown in the graph, the trends vary across the compared areas. Burglary has experienced a significant drop that
continued
Verb problem
has continued
show examples
 for some years.
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 car theft showed a gradual increase. Robbery
Linking Words
on
Punctuation problem
, on
show examples
 the other hand, was slightly stable. Burglary scored
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest
done
Verb problem
apply
show examples
crime
in
Check wording
rate in
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 2003 with nearly 3,500
then
Linking Words
,
it
Rephrase
then it
show examples
 increased to 3,700 in the following year before sharply
drooped
Verb problem
dropping
show examples
 to 1100 in 2008. In
2009
Punctuation problem
2009,
show examples
 it rose to nearly 1500
after
Punctuation problem
; after
show examples
 that, it showed unnoticed changes from 2010 to 2012. Car theft
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 a small buildup trend starting with 2400 in 2003 to roughly 3000 in 2012.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 contrast to those
to
Use the right word
two
show examples
 groups, robbery was the only one that
display
Wrong verb form
displayed
show examples
 a pattern with no dramatic changes. 600 in 2003
Correct word order
apply
show examples
then
Linking Words
,
a
Correct word order
then a
show examples
single increase to 900 in 2005, but
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it went down again in the following year to 600
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
went
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 until 2012.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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