IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that constructing bigger roads will help to prevent traffic problems. To what extent do you agree?

It is thought that, in order to reduce traffic on streets, the government should extend the lines on roads.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 can be beneficial in handling more cars,
this
Linking Words
 solution can attract more residents to the area, and
thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can lead to a bigger headache.
Consequently
Linking Words
, I must say that I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
statement
Punctuation problem
statement,
show examples
 even though there will be consequences if mismanagement happens.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in bigger cities , especially in metropolises, the number of residents who own a vehicle is roughly the same as the population itself.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to larger queues of cars on roads
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and can potentially cause more accidents and casualties.
As a result
Linking Words
, the law has to make the highways larger in order to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
congestion.
Secondly
Linking Words
, constructing a more extended place for cars can solve it to some extent.
However
Linking Words
, road management can play an even bigger role in
this
Linking Words
 issue. A developed town with fewer traffic problems can attract other people to move to it. So, the government must first think about
this
Linking Words
unless
Punctuation problem
, unless
show examples
 it wants more hardships in the area. In conclusion, if
this
Linking Words
 plan is thought
thoroughly
Change preposition
through thoroughly
show examples
 before happening, it can help make the city more convenient.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is more dependent on the whole plan handling than on the problem itself.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task-management
Make a clear claim in the opening sentence and keep this stance in mind as you write. The piece says 'partially agree'—state this clearly and give reasons.
coherence-and-organization
Fill each paragraph with one main idea and a simple example. Do not add many ideas in the same paragraph.
lexical-resource
Use plain words. Some phrases are odd or wrong. Swap them for clearer, common words.
structure
Finish with a short and clear conclusion that restates your stance and the main reasons.
structure
There is a clear plan with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
content
The essay tries to discuss both sides.
coherence
Some linking words appear, like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: