IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of three surveys on absenteeism in a particular European country in the years 2000, 2005, and 2010.

The chart below shows the results of three surveys on absenteeism in a particular European country in the years 2000, 2005, and 2010.
The figure above illustrates the outcome of three surveys for the
esxuses
Correct your spelling
reasons
 people used to skip work in a European country in
three
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 years 2000, 2005 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the chart shows that illness has
redueced steadly
Correct your spelling
reduced steadily
 throughout the years,
while
Linking Words
 stress
increaced
Correct your spelling
increased
. It
also
Linking Words
 demonstrates that the
esxuse
Correct your spelling
use
 of family
responsbilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 and unexpected problems
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 remained the same in the
last
Linking Words
 two years. The bar chart shows that 45% of employees used illness as a
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
 for their absence in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000, and
this
Linking Words
 percentage has fallen
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 the rate of 5% in each
year
Use synonyms
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 35% in the
year
Use synonyms
 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 shows family
responsbitlities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 is an
exuse
Correct your spelling
excuse
 that
decreaced
Correct your spelling
decreased
 in
useage
Correct your spelling
usage
, starting at around 27% in the first
year
Use synonyms
 and reaching nearly 20% in
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
show examples
 where it remained the same for the
year
Use synonyms
 after that.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
figuer
Correct your spelling
figure
 demonstrates that 5% of workers only used stress as a reason for skipping work,
this
Linking Words
 number lowered slightly in 2005 before
sky rocketing
Use the right word
skyrocketing
show examples
 to more than double in 2010. It
also
Linking Words
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 that 13% of people
did't
Correct your spelling
didn't
 go to work because of personal need and the percentage
increaced
Correct your spelling
increased
 to nearly 20% in 2005, before coming down
17
Change preposition
to 17
show examples
% in 2010.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: