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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

With the widespread use of interent, more people choose to work from home. Do the advantage of this trend outweight the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that working remotely is becoming more popular around the world.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 phenomenon and present my opinion. On the one hand, there are many positives to working from
home
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such
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, such
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 as saving on transport expenses. It is undeniable that many
people
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work
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 away from
home
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, and the daily expenses to go to
work
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 and go back
to
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apply
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home
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 huge.
Therefore
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, working from
home
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 can be considerably helpful for many workers, especially in
this
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 regard.
Additionally
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,
such
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 a trend allows employees to spend more time with their family members. Previously, men used to get
home
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 exhausted from
work
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 and have no energy to
set
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sit
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 and play with their kids
,
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;
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however
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, now they can spend more time with them between
work
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 breaks and have stronger relationships with them.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 approach comes with some drawbacks. It is possible to say that having a sedentary lifestyle is one of the major issues
people
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 face
due to
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 working from
home
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, which can lead to drastic mood changes, obesity, and many other health-related issues.
Moreover
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,
this
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 trend makes
people
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 avoid gathering and socialising with their community. Many studies have shown that spending too much time working at
home
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made
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makes
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people
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 lazy and tired both mentally and physically to the degree they do not want to meet new
people
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 or even contact
with
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apply
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their close friends. In conclusion,
while
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 there are many advantages of working remotely, it has many negatives. I think the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
Nevertheless
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, we should take the cons into consideration.

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language use
Use small words and short lines. This keeps your idea clear.
coherence
Add easy link words to show how ideas go with each other, like 'and', 'also', 'but', and 'for example'.
content
Give one clear example for each main point to back it up.
task response
End with a clear view and tell why you think so, not just a doubt or hope.
structure
Clear plan with intro, two body ideas and a conclusion.
content
Gives opinion and speaks on both sides.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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