IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the internet has brought people together while others think that people have become more isolated now.” Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

At present,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is a blessing for many
people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others think that it is a
caurse
Correct your spelling
curse
. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand by using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
communication
Check wording
apply
show examples
has become easier,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 it makes
people
Use synonyms
 alone.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both statements and generate
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
show examples
 opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
interact
Wrong verb form
interacting
show examples
 with
people
Use synonyms
 from all over the world
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is now a matter of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 seconds if
one
Use synonyms
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 social media.
One
Use synonyms
 can exchange information through phone calls, video calls or via massage.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the expense
show examples
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 for those are minimal.
Secondly
Linking Words
, work from home opportunities
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become possible
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. A person who works from home
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can give extra time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 family.
In addition
Linking Words
,
collaboration
Replace the word
collaborative
show examples
 work has increased. Study shows that, wide
sprade
Correct your spelling
spectrum
 of
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 increased the volume of combined work.
For example
Linking Words
, different students and
faculties
Check wording
faculty
show examples
 from different countries are working together to publish their research articles that enrich their
profile
Fix the agreement mistake
profiles
show examples
also
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,the picture has a different story as well. The virtual communication is increasing rapidly,
while
Linking Words
 the
in-personal
Use the right word
in-person
show examples
 relationships
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 dropping. Most of the time
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a day
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 are
busying
Replace the word
busy
show examples
 with their phone and somehow they forget to live in present. Nobody is
bother
Wrong verb form
bothered
show examples
 about what is
happing
Verb problem
happening
show examples
 around the world. Interactions with parents and near ones,who live with
one
Use synonyms
,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
menimizeing
Correct your spelling
minimising
 as time
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 on social
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 has
rised
Correct your spelling
risen
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, children are
also
Linking Words
 busy with video games and other
Use synonyms
internet based
Use the right word
internet-based
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 and show less interest
to play
Change preposition
in playing
show examples
. Researchers show that if the playing intensity gradually
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
, physical strength will
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
hampared
Correct your spelling
hampered
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 cannot be ignored but balanced use is essential. Extensive use of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media
hampering
Verb problem
is hampering
show examples
 personal
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
 and
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to increase
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 matter.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be clear on your view in the intro and again in the end.
task response
Give 1-2 clear ideas and back them with a simple example.
grammar
Use normal words and short sentences to keep the flow steady.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and show how ideas go together.
structure
Make 4 clean paragraphs: intro, 2 body, close.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides.
content
There are some good ideas on how the net helps work and cross talk.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: