Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negetive effect on children. To what extent do you agree?

Many individuals believe that social media influencers
are having
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have
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a detrimental impact on
children
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. Personally, I tend to agree with that view wholeheartedly.
Firstly
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, many influencers make somewhat weird and questionable content for views and fame , and some even create scandals to be more mainstream.
Such
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acts would make
children
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think that the content is something "cool" and that they should replicate it for fun and entertainment.
For instance
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, a popular trend on TikTok has had made detrimental impact on
children
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's health by suggesting that drinking pure lime juice to fast and lose weight, which results in many
kids
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and even adults having severe intestinal ulcers and needing to be hospitalised for weeks. Second of all, as mentioned earlier, these content creators will do questionable things for attention, some of which are not safe for
kids
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to watch. They utilise pornography and encourage related matters for the sake of their channel without even considering the impact that it could cause on
children
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.
Thus
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, many
kids
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'
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apply
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are addicted to these platforms and praise them wholeheartedly.
Moreover
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, without the restrictions, the algorithms would be quite faulty and lead them to watch some advocacy of political views, making adolescents who are not fully grown have mixed views about their country or even encouraging treasonous.
Therefore
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, many "for you page influencers" would certainly not be safe and secure for people to watch , especially
children
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who tend to believe social media celebrities to be flawless. In conclusion, mainstream celebrities causing a crisis for the
kids
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is a fact , not a belief anymore.
Hence
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, as adults, we should take action to mitigate the harm that it brings to the younger generation.

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task
Be clear about your view from the start and keep it in a simple line in the first paragraph.
coherence
Group ideas in order and use clear links between them, so the read flows well.
grammar
Check grammar and word form. For example, 'has had made' should be 'had made' or 'has made'.
tone
You show a clear view that you agree with the topic.
content
You use an example to back your idea.
structure
You try to use linking words to show order.
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