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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that it is not possible to be happy without money, while others think money does not guarantee happiness. Disscus both these views and give your opinion.

Many
people
Use synonyms
 hold different opinions about
this
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 statement.
While
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 some believe that
money
Use synonyms
 brings
happiness
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 in
people
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's lives, others argue that
money
Use synonyms
 is not everything in someone's
life
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and present a reasoned opinion on the matter. From one point of view, some individuals argue that
money
Use synonyms
 brings
happiness
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, and it is not possible to achieve
happiness
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 without it.
Firstly
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, with
money
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,
people
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 can fulfil their basic needs
such
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 as food, clothes, and a house; for all of those
people
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 have to earn
money
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.
Moreover
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, some
people
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 like to travel and engage in leisure activities.
Last
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 but not least,
people
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 have to earn
money
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 to secure their future for at least their basic survival needs.
For example
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, Most billionaire spend most of their time on their businesses to
stabilize
Change the spelling
stabilise
show examples
 their lifestyle and for a better future.
Hence
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, for all of those,
people
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 need
money
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 to bring
happiness
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 into their lives.
In contrast
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, Other individuals believe that
money
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 is not everything to bring
happiness
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 in their lives. First of all,
money
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 is derived from non-material things, relationships, and personal achievements.
Furthermore
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, Wealth cannot buy health and meaningful relationships in someone's
life
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.
For example
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, most wealthy personalities tend to earn wealth, and they cannot make enough time for their families.
Hence
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,
at the end
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, either they have to separate from their partner or divorce them;
at the end
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 of their
life
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 period, they have to live by themselves without their better half and kids. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
money
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 is important for the basic necessities, I personally opine that
money
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 cannot give you
happiness
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 in your
life
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, as you can get it with family or a healthy lifestyle.

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grammar
Use short, clear sentences to fix grammar.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, but, for example.
development
Add more full examples and show how they prove the point.
stance
Say your view clearly in the end and restate it.
structure
Clear plan with intro, body and conclusion.
content
Both sides are shown and a view is given.
examples
There are some real life examples.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • basic necessities
  • sense of security
  • diminishing return
  • well-being
  • personal fulfillment
  • meaningful relationships
  • non-material
  • material wealth
  • healthcare
  • financial worries
  • unforeseen events
What to do next:
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